Letters To Louis // l.t.

October 31st, 2010 - letter 37

Dear Louis,

The costume you picked out for me is beautiful. It's Princess Belle, ironic and punny, huh? Anyways it's beautiful and I love it, but a roll of fat bulges out and I look ugly in it. I do anything but justice to this beautiful costume.

The reason I am writing a letter right now is because it's helping me not purge. The urge is so strong right now and the toilet is just calling my name. Everyone is getting ready anyways so I don't see why not....

I'm going to go do it.

                               +++

Just as my fingers were nearing the point of no return when you knocked on the door! You knocked on the door and told me that everyone was ready! 

I was so close.

I didn't get to do it. 

I came out of the bathroom and you went on and on about how absolutely beautiful I was and how stunning I looked. It's all bull if you ask me. The only good thing that has come from me leaving the bathroom is that I saw your costume was The Beast, or Adam. You got us a couples costume.

And another thing that is bull: "everyone is ready". Really? Because Liam and Niall just yelled at you to give them five more minutes, Zayn's still fixing his hair and Harry ran off with his costume in the packaging and has not been seen since.

I'm depressed, upset, tired and cranky. I don't want to go, but I guess that's nothing new. 

You're walking towards me. I should go. 

                            +++

How was the party you ask? The party was.... awesome. Despite my expectations the party was amazing! It was fun and cool and... a party. I liked it. I had never been to one before. 

No one gave me dirty looks or whispered. It was nice. In fact some people, mainly girls because you scowled at any boy who dare came near me, talked to me. They asked me questions and treated me like a normal person. When I asked why they didn't hate me they all laughed and Finley, my friend, said "because first off something very bad must've happened for you to be able to live with Louis in the X-Factor homes so we wouldn't dare be mean to you when you have other, more bothersome things going on; and second: because you aren't more competition."  she said with a wink. 

I like Finley.

Anyways it was an awesome party and you're right: I did make friends and people did like me and I had a lovely time, but I was still sad. It didn't matter that Finley had talked to me and become my friend, nor did it matter that other girls did the same. It didn't matter that boys like Ryder, and others, had flirted with me for some unearthly reason. It didn't matter because I still wasn't happy. I still had those nagging voices in my mind, I still wanted to purge, I still felt out of place, I still felt as if something was off. 

I was still unhappy.

So that brings me to the question: does this mean I really am an un-fixable mess?

I think it does and that saddens me even more.

-Annabelle

no it doesn't mean that and i know that because i'm going to fix you.

and who flirted with you? cause i'm gonna punch the living crap out of that little mofo along with ryder the manwhore. how dare he. i always knew he was trouble.

and don't worry, belley, i'm gonna fix you even if it's the last thing i do. i promise. i pinky promise. 

and your not fat. don't even think that for a minute. don't ever think you are fat. you are not fat. thank you for not purging. 

-Louis

p.s. please don't be mad that i kinda maybe read this page. i swear i read nothing else! but when i went into your room to draw on your face this book was laying open on this page so... yup. anyways sorry! i swear i didn't read anything else though.

hey. is this a book of letters to me? or is it just some kinda journal? just cause i've opened this book up before and it's said 'dear louis' and oh gosh i'm shutting this book now. sorry, belle!

{okay so letters to louis reached over 1,000 votes and i'm gonna cry!! i've never gotten 1,000 votes before!! thank you so so so so so much! i honest like wow. i just can't even!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. this story has gotten more feedback then i thought it would and you have no idea how much that means to me. THANK YOU. -A x}