Letters To Louis // l.t.

April 11th, 2010 - letter 16

Dear Louis,

You reacted totally different then I thought and.... Thank you. Thank you for being there for me, thank you for not running away or laughing, thank you for saying that you'll help me and thank you for caring. You have no idea how much that means to me. I've never had anyone care for me. Not in the way you do. Not in the way of I'll help you and I won't leave.

Thank you. 

I'm still scared though. It's getting closer and closer to July and then you'll... leave. You're so talented that I know they will snatch you right up. I know you'll become famous and then you'll forget about me. 

I'm being completely and utterly selfish now, but I don't want you to go. I wish you'd stay. But you won't and you can't. It's your dream and you should go chase after it. I just wish I could come along.

I'm trying your tip on not cutting tonight. You said that I should draw a butterfly on my wrist and have it represent something I love so when I feel like cutting I will see the butterfly and do nothing because it will be like I'm cutting and hurting that thing I love.

I chose you as my something I love.

You told me that you use your tip also and it helps quite a lot. I asked what you chose as your something you love, but you wouldn't tell.

I can't really complain though, I didn't tell you mine.

Oh you also said you were writing a song and you'd play it for me soon! I'm excited.

I'm tired though, Louis. Not just physically either. I'm drained and I'm tired and I'm done and I want to give up. If it weren't for you I would. But you help me so much. You help me get over the bullies hurtful words (you've even stood up for me more), you've begged me to start eating and made countless deals with me involving me eating and the food staying in my stomach like "if you eat and keep the food down then I'll never leave no matter what", you've been there for me and haven't left, and... and you need me. I can't leave when you need me.

But I'm done. I'm tired and I'm sad and I just want to give up, Lou. I really do.

-Your Belle

_________________________________________

thank you all so much. the amount of feedback 

i've gotten on this is amazing. this story has even

been ranked for like 3 days straight. thank you all

so much. i love you guys.

question: do you like this new cover, the cover with Louis on it or the cover with Louis in the pink hat on it? Which one should I use.

comment and vote my lovelys.

-A x