Letters To Louis // l.t.

January 15th, 2011 - letter 54

Dear Louis,

I don't even know if I'm living anymore. Is this what you would call living? Moping around, avoiding everyone, doing nothing but crying.

The thing is that I wouldn't avoid everyone if they didn't all hate me. Everyone thinks it's my fault that you're gone. Everyone blames me. I don't even have Finley anymore and I found out why. She hates me because she had a crush on you too. She hates me because I treated you horribly and didn't deserve you. I can't say I don't agree with her though.

The only one who doesn't hate me is Harry. He knows it wasn't my fault and that you had your own problems, but things are still tense between us.

I just don't even know anymore. I don't know what to do or how to do anything or how to think without being reminded of you and crying all over again.

Sometimes I have to look into the mirror just to remind myself that I'm there.

I think I'm gonna stop writing for awhile. It's not like your here anymore anyways.

-Belle

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No this isn't the end! I promise!

Close to the end though! Two more letters left! I'm sad. -A x