Love on London

Chapter 15: I'm not Stupid, just Confused

He looked up at me and his curly hair bounced lightly, shifting to the left as he held his head at a tilt. The light casted across his face in unusual shade, making all I saw his face. His perfect, sweet face… I bit my bottom lip and got up to sit next to him. Bingo looked up at us as we both rubbed his stomach,

“Did you talk to him today?” Jay asked quietly. I shook my head,

“No.”

“Then when did you get the bruising?” he asked, I let out a shaky breath.

“You know when Jay… That… That night,” I whisper. He slid his hand across to mine and held it above Bingo’s heartbeat. I held my breath for a long moment before mustering up some strength to say, “What does this mean Jay?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, if it was to see if I would say ‘dating’ or simply because he wasn’t sure what I meant I wasn’t sure so I forced the words to come out of my mouth.

“Our coincidental slips? How whenever I seem on the verge of dying inside you come and make me smile, whenever our eyes meet that I feel like I’m falling through space and tumbling to earth and just before I fall to the ground and perish it ends and I… I… this Jay? I’m confused, not stupid, please understand,” I say holding onto his hand a little harder and looking at him, not sure if I should or not. If I knew only one thing it would be that I’d never felt this before, never anything like this.

“It means I won’t to get to know you better,” he whisper lifting his hand with mine and brought it into both his hands, “It means I want to know you better than a friend,” he whispered. I felt my heart race at an uncontrollable beat now and then it plummeted when I looked at his eyes.

“There’s a but,” I whisper and swallowed. He licked his lips and let out a sigh,

“Nath likes you as well,” he said and I felt almost dumbstruck and I did feel very, really surprised. Why are you so shocked?! His looking at you every minute or so isn’t just coincidence; you’ve just blocked it out.

“I understand,” I say pulling my hand from his and gave him a weak smile. “If in a few months Nathan has forgotten and you’re still in town I’ll be here,” I say looking into his eyes and still feeling the same. “Until then we can get to know each other,” I say smiling.

“What do we tell the guys?” Jay asked after a moment.

“Nothing, we’re just good mates,” I say bumping shoulders with him not letting our touch linger.