Love on London

Chapter 41: But I Love You...

“Arria,” Maggie said pulling my hair back for me as another wave of vomit and vile acid burnt up my throat. “Arria, Arria, Arria,” she continued shaking her head. I knew she knew something and my gut tensed again, but there was nothing to throw up. “How long has it been happening?” she asked. I shuddered and shook my head in denial.

“I can’t be,” I say.

“How long Arria!” she replied again.

“A…A…A Li…little while now,” I say turning the hot water tap on and washed the upchurn down with bleach. “I… I think I might be…” I paused not wanting to say the word. It couldn’t be happening; I wasn’t in control of my life let alone managed or composed enough to raise a little boy or girl. It wasn’t like I didn’t enjoy the idea of having a kid, it would have been exciting, I would have loved it… if it were Jay and I.

“Have you had a pregnancy test?” Maggie asked looking me straight in the eye. I shook my head; she put her hands on her hips before she let a smile come onto her face.

“I’m scared,” I admit, “If it were Jay and I then maybe I would have loved this… But, but what if gets more mad? What… What…”

“Arria I wouldn’t worry about it! Look we could have a kid and raise it together like those lesbians!” She joked making me smile. She shook her head, “You haven’t told Jay have you?”

“No,” I say sternly and lifted my head. I’d finally made up my mind, “No and I’ll tell him later on, but I’m over him… I’ve given him his two chances and now he has lost me,” I say squaring my chin. Maggie nodded, still looking cautious though.

“I’m going to go get you a tester just to be sure,” she said turning to leave. “Don’t fall or eat any more of that cucumber!” she shouted out and slammed the door shut.

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??///-Jay’s POV-///&&&

I stood at her door with a bunch of roses in my hand, snow had started to fall around my ankles and a bunch of memories stung my mind. I felt like a dork, a real dork so I lifted my hand and knocked on the door. Moments later someone threw open the door and I looked up from the step to see Maggie standing there with a headband on and a bunch of flour on her stomach and through her hair. She frowned and put her hands on her hips before leaning on one leg and gave me a questioning look.

“Who’s there!” I heard Arria shout out. Maggie stayed silent and looked back inside.

“What do you want!” Maggie hissed to me.

“I need to talk to Arria…”

“You broke her heart! You’ve crushed her life and all you can say is I needed to talk?” Maggie said angrily. I took a deep breath going to speak but I stopped when I saw Arria come to a stop next to Maggie. She looked in a similar state, her hair was clipped loosely away from her face but a few locks trailed across her face and flour covered her hands and chest. A bit rested on her forehead along with some chocolate.

“Jay,” she said in a shaky breath as she straightened her shoulders.

“Arria…” I say feeling my voice coming out small and cramped from my tight throat. I was trying to hold down tears, I could feel she was doing the same.

“What do you want Jay!” Maggie said angrily. I didn’t take my eyes off Arria.

“I needed to tell you that I made the worst mistake of my life accusing you like that. I… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, nothing is the same since. I love you so much and I can barely contain what I’m feeling right now Arria. I need you, I…” I paused and looked away from her eyes for a moment and down to the roses. She waited in silence. “I was scared because I loved you so much that you could have so much as tripped and scrapped your knee and I would be on the verge of death. Would you forgive me,” I say looking into her eyes. They went from melted honey to a hard grey bark brown.