A/N: One of the most Beautiful songs I've ever listened to (And suggested by Jay in an interview :P) Is called Posion and Wine by 'The Civil Wars' and I think it fits the scene perfectly. Also remember, at the END of this story I will write ~The End~ because some of you might be quick to think it's the end... :)
You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don't want me to
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
Oh you think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will
I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice but I still choose you
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will
_________________________________________________________________
~~~Arria’s POV~~
Nathan gave me a photo album I had of the two of us. Apparently I had one for each of the guys. For some reason it was like watching an alien, I wasn’t that person… I flicked the page over and saw one of Jay holding her up the way a man would with his bride, she was wearing a wet shirt and shorts and had thick auburn hair plastered to her face as she tossed her head back laughing. Nath was pulling a fly face, I remember that, his fly face, and Jay was poking his tongue out, but his eyes were watching lovingly at the girl. A tour bus with AMERICA plastered across the side was parked under a tree.
I looked at the label on the side and careful writing said, ‘The Wanted’s American Tour. Pit Stop :P’
I let out a sigh and took the photo out and closed the book. After dropping the album to the floor I turned off my night light and traced his face once and twice. Somehow a man’s voice broke my thoughts. An American one,
“Excited for New York filming?”
“Why do I remember that, but not him?” I whisper to myself before closing my eyes and held the photo at my chest, willing myself to remember.
_________
Next morning came and I had a phone call.
“It’s from Shia,” Nathan said throwing me the phone as I ate my toast.
“Hello?” I say into it and the American voice sailed through my ears.
“Hey? Remember me? It’s Sh…”
“I REMEMBER!” I squeal and jumped up. With the sound of his voice a few memories flooded back. I was into films, I was an actress!!!
“You do? Wow, Arria for a moment…”
“I’m not Arria though,” I say cutting him off.
“Ohh… getting into role early are we? Haha, hey I was wondering if you’re still doing the shoot this Monday,” he said and I frowned.
“New York?” I question and a woman’s face flashed in my face. “Of Cause!” she said before laughing. I frowned more and sat down on the couch.
“I’m going out!” shouted Nath as he left the house.
“Yeah,” replied Shia down the phone.
“I should be, hey I have to go… thanks for calling though,” I say feeling a tearing at my heart and tears flood into my eyes, I didn’t know why, but I just had to get away from his voice for a moment, I couldn’t handle it.
“Alright then, bye,” he said sounding chirpy. I dropped the phone at my side and I heard metal on metal again. There was a flash and red flooded my vision.
“You alright?” Jay asked coming to sit on the couch opposite me. I looked up and into his eyes and tears formed in my eyes. I shook my head and reached down to touch the photo I had in my pocket.
“I want to see the album I made of us,” I say clenching my throat to keep down the tears. There was a tearing at my heart and stomach, I felt something vacant there and touch my stomach.
“I don’t…”
“I want to! Please!” I say bitting my bottom lip and looking at his eyes. He nodded and left. Moments later he came back with a thick album and placed it on my lap. I opened it and felt more stabs with ever page turned. It hurt, it really hurt. I came to a picture of what looked like home… Home… My best friend… but she’s not here anymore, she’s not.
I slammed it shut and stormed out of the room, pushing tears from my eyes. I was missing things, something so essential, but I couldn’t place my finger on it, I couldn’t place my heart on it because I had lost it. That I knew, someone still had my heart.
“Felicity,” I heard Jay say as he put a hand on my shoulder.
“I don’t want to talk,” I say pushing him away. His touch strayed above my shoulder for a moment before it dropped and he took a deep breath.
“Have you remembered anything?” he asked almost afraid.
“No! Nothing about who you were or that girl… I leave before Monday for New York, I’m an actress… that I know… and someone has my heart and until I find it again I don’t think... I dont think I want to see you,” I say turning to face him. Truly it looked like he was going to die with those words, my lost heart crumpled somewhere and I pushed a tear away from his face. His hand caught hold of mine and I store into his ocean blue eyes.
“Please tell me you don’t mean that… please,” he begged and I shook my head.
“I’m sorry Jay… I’m sorry,” I whisper and took a shay breath. “I wish I knew, I wished I could accept who I was, but you have to realise I was her. WAS… I may be this person in form, but in soul… I’m Felicity Grey, I was five one moment and now I’m twenty-three and living in a confusing world… I’m not who I was, but I’m not who I am… If that makes sense?” I say and give him a quick hug. His arms wrapped around me tightly, as if I might break away at any moment, yet fragile, As if I were made of glass…
I felt a new wave of tears come into my eyes and I ripped free of his grip. “I’m going to New York tomorrow,” I say lifting my chin.
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Love on London
FanfictionArria Destry has a past that both haunts and guides her. When she gets snowed in with The Wanted, a particular Jay McGuiness steals her heart. Now catapulted into the life of Fame and Fans she has everything at her fingertips, but all she ever wante...
