Make My Life Amazing

I always thought that everyone hated me. I thought that everyone was out to get me. I thought that I was life’s favorite sitcom and that life was trying to see how hard it can push me till I broke. But I am strong. I am a fighter. I can push ahead everything and anything. I can and I will till the day I die. Why? Because it’s worth it. It is worth fighting for. It is worth working towards. There are so many beautiful things life, and everyone has someone they love and that love them no matter how bad life is. No matter whom you are, where you are, where you live, someone loves you, even if you think no one does. So if you are reading this right now, know that your life means something. Know that everyone who hard on you or mean to you isn’t worth your time because you are amazing and perfect to me. Your life is precious. You are perfect. Do everything to the best of your ability and with the best intentions. Know that you were created for a reason—to do good. To be the best you that you can be, not the best someone else can be. Don’t compare yourself to someone else and be like them because you are created to be you. Because your life and mine is meant to be amazing. So make it amazing.

MAKE MY LIFE AMAZING

Life is weird. It has a funny way of showing us all the beautiful, wonderful things in it. But I guess that’s how my life is. My life is weird. I will never have a normal life, and I am okay with that. I am okay with the fact that my life hasn’t always been good, but I will still live like it is the best life I will ever life because you only have one life so live it to the fullest. I try to live like that because every second that goes by is a second you can’t get bag. Live in the moment. But don’t live crazy because then you can destroy your life by doing that. By partying every night, by drinking and screwing anyone, that is an awful way to live.

I sit on the floor next to Lou. He plays around like crazy with Louis. To keep from confusion, the older Louis goes by Louis and my baby boy goes by Lou. That is the how we keep them straight. Lou’s bright blue eyes peer up at me. He’s a small baby, but he is a chubby baby.

“Duck,” he says pointing to the small animal in the book.

“Good,” I smile, pulling him closer to me. Lou lets out a squeal and claps rapidly. “And what animal is that?” I ask pointing to the cow.

“Cow,” Lou questions. I nod down at him. Lou cheers again. I ruffle his light brown hair. Just like Jacob’s hair. I let out a sigh.

“What animal is this?” I ask pointing to the horse.

“Horsey!” Lou exclaims.

“Very good!” I cheer. “What animal is this?” I point to the chicken. Lou hesitates. He looks up at me for the answer. “Chicken,” I say slowly.

“Chickwen,” Lou repeats. “I want snack,” Lou demands.

“What do we say?” I ask.

“Pwease?” Lou asks.

“Sure,” I smile at hit cuteness. I lift him off the floor. I stand up with a grunt. I head over to the kitchen and set Lou in a chair. I grab Animal Crackers and pour them into a small bowl for Lou. Two years. I have had two years with Lou. Two years to try and figure out what to do with my life. I want to do something besides sit around all day. I want to be someone besides One Direction’s Pregnant Little Sister. I want to make a better name for myself. I want to be someone on my own. Sadly, that is hard to do with everything crazy going on in my life. Collins is so close to being pronounced guilty, and Jacob is really close to being pronounced nothing because his case keeps going back and forth. It’s very frustrating

“Thank you, mommy,” Lou smiles to me.

“No problem, baby,” I kiss his little head of hair.

“Mommy eat crackers?” Lou asks.

“Do you want mommy to eat your crackers?” I smirk.

“No,” Lou shakes his head. I grab one of his crackers. “Mommy!” Lou whines.

“Lou!” I whine back.

“Mommy, dose my crackers. You get you own,” Lou tells me.

“But what if I want yours?” I ask. I take another. Lou pouts. I kiss his cheek.

I stand up when I hear a knock on the door. Austin and I moved out from the lads recently because they were all starting to create families, and they needed their own spaces, too. So I now share a house with Austin. Louis recently proposed to Eleanor, and it was really cute. Zayn and Perrie got married a while back as well, and that was also really cute. Liam and Danielle broke up a while ago, but they stay in touch. It’s a real shame because they were the perfect couple. Niall and Harry are still single, and they really haven’t had many girlfriends. Austin is still dating Addison, and they are adorable. Austin is so sweet to Addison, and they are both still so lovesick.

“Finish your animal crackers. I’ll be right back,” I say. Lou ignores me and continues eating his animal crackers.

I head over to the door. I was about to open the door when Louis yells, “open the door,” in a whiny attitude.

I crack the door. “Password?” I ask before closing it quickly.

“Wait—what?” Louis questions. “Alexandra!” he laughs.

I laugh out and open the door. “Yes, Louis?” I ask.

“Can I come in?” He asks. I open the door wider and step aside. Louis comes in. “I would like to invite you to Eleanor and my wedding.”

Louis hands me an envelope. I raise an eyebrow. “Was I not invited before?” I smirk.

Louis gasps. “Be happy that I gave you yours in person!” Louis exclaims.

Lou comes waddling into the living room. “Uncle Louis!” he exclaims. Lou absolutely adores Louis, and it is the cutest thing. I mean, he loves the other lads, but he has this soft spot for Louis, like me. Louis picks up Lou.

“How’s my favorite little boy?” Louis asks. Lou smiles. Lou squirms out of his arm and runs to grab his animal crackers. He runs back and shows Louis. Louis laughs. “Well, I have to get going. Wedding planning,” he mumbles.

“Oh you pour soul,” I place my hand over my heart.

“Oh whatever,” Louis rolls his eyes. He crouches down to Lou’s level. “I got to go, bud.”

“No!” Lou yells.

“I’m sorry,” Louis kisses the side of his head. Louis waves by to me and leaves.

“Uncle Louis no leave!” Lou whines.

“Sorry, baby,” I say. “Finish you crackers, and then how about you take a nap?”

Lou frowns. He picks up his bowl of animal crackers and walks away. “I nap?” he asks.

“Yeah, baby,” I say. Lou finishes off his animal crackers and waddles—yes waddles—over to the sink. He just has this little waddle to his step. It’s really cute though. He steps on the step stool and sets his bowl in the sink. I smile and pick him up. “Let’s go take a nap, yeah?” I ask. Lou yawns and nods. I lie him down and tuck him in. I kiss his forehead as his little eyes flutter closed. I smile and flip the light off.  

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~Bella~

<3