Make My Life Amazing

Chapter 23

Okay so I just want to say something. It doesn't have any relation to the story. I just need to get this off my chest.

Life sucks. Yes we all hear this all the time, but you know what really sucks about life? Fake friends because oh my let me tell you, they have some nerve! Like, oh we're best friends? Oh we're sisters? Oh you've told me everything about yourself. And this took me a while, but I've learned to see through those fake friends. Or you know singular. I hope you guys don't have multiple fake friends like I feel I do. I just want to say to them that thet suck, and I haven't told you everything and I never will because deep down inside me I always knew something was up, no matter how many times I forgive you for walking all over me and my generous chances to make things right. Go fuck with someone else's emotions, you bitch!

Lol sorry but I bet a lot of you understand how I feel so feel enraged with me! I need to stop...

Here's to new beginnings without old "friends"

Alex’s PoV

I am slowly walked inside. Harry has his hands around my back. I can't feel my legs moving. I’m moving though, but I’m not sure how. My head is spinning. I don’t want to process what Harry told me. He let me cry and make a scene in the middle of the parking lot another five minutes after I settled down. After he got me to settle down, I got angry again and started yelling and wanted to break something. I didn’t want to shatter my phone. I have all my pictures of Lou on there.

Before Harry can get me inside, I start to freak out again. I don’t want to go into the building that has… I squirm out of Harry’s grip and try to run. Harry grabs my shirt and pulls me back. “Alex…” Harry whispers. I shake my head again. I can’t go in there. I just can't. I will not let him bring me in there. I don’t see why I have to go in there. “You have to identify uhh…”

Can’t someone else do that? Why do I have to? Anyone can go identify Lou because I don’t think I can bear to see him. I try to squirm out of Harry’s grip. I fail again. I shake my head furiously as tears blur my vision. I can't. I just can't.

“At least say your goodbyes or something,” Harry begs.

I huff and start walking towards the doors. Harry catches up to me and wraps his hand around mine as we walk inside. The minute we walk through those hospital doors, I can feel the mood shift. It’s always felt like that, but this time the tension is thicker and heavier than before. I am shaking so much. The only part of my body that isn’t is my right hand because Harry has a tight grip on it. I am still crying and gasping heavily for air. I am constantly wiping my eyes and trying to hide my face. I don’t want people to see me in such a mess, despite my outburst in the parking lot. Harry seems to notice my insecurity.

“Wait here,” he runs out into the parking lot. After a few minutes, Harry comes back with a sweatshirt. “Here, you can hide your face if it will make you feel better.”

I slip the sweatshirt on and pull the hood up. I walk with my head down I watch some of my tears hit the ground. My heart hurts, and my stomach hurts. I feel like I might throw up. I keep getting the sensation that I will throw up as I choke to breathe. My breathing is shaky and wanting to throw up isn’t helping. My feet feel heavier and heavier as Harry and I get closer and closer to the waiting room. I don’t even want to test my voice. It is probably scratchy and messed up from screaming and crying.

We get to the waiting room, and everyone is in there, crying and looking depressed. I internally scoff. They don’t even understand how I feel right now. “Alex, are you okay?” Austin runs over to me. He wraps me in a hug. I feel him trembling. “Oh my god, we were all so scared when you didn’t answer your phone, and then Lou…and I just didn’t know what to do. I thought something bad might have happened.”