Make My Life Amazing

Chapter 33

I really don't regret not updating for like two weeks because honestly, I needed a break. I had so many tests these past two weeks, and I just didn't feel like it so suck it up. I'll update next saturday.

BUT I AM BEING MICHAEL CLIFFORD FOR HALLOWEEN AND I MADE A REALLY COOL IDIOT FLANNEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!! it's to the side or up top:)

what are you guys being for halloween? TELLLLLL MMEEE or not I don't really care either way.

OMFG STEAL MY GIRL WAS SO PERFECT! BUT IT CAME OUR LIKE FIVE MINUTES BEFORE I HAD CLASS AND MY LIBRARIAN YELLED AT PEOPLE IN OUR HALLWAY BECAUSE WE WERE ALL FREAKINGO UT ABOUT THE MUSIC VIDEO LIKE I DIED NO KIDDING. I'M A GHOST WRITING THIS SO RIP BELLA!

Alex’s PoV

I feel like the room is so much tighter than it really is. I hate this hotel. I want to leave. I don’t want to be by myself anymore. I can't really go anywhere without being seen so I have to sit in this dark hotel room watching the news. I watch the news, and it helps me feel better about my life. I have it so much better than some people so I try to remember that and be grateful. I could look back in my own life and be thankful for what I have now. I just have trouble doing that sometimes, especially in a bump like this.

Maybe I should just go back home in London. This is all gotten to be too much. I don’t like to keep moving from country to country, city to city, hotel to hotel. I think I could really get my shit together if I’m on my own for a while, but I wouldn’t really be on my own. I would have Addison there with me in London, and Eleanor and Perrie go back and forth a lot. Plus, I miss my best friend and not seeing her all the time. I don’t think the boys would really care if I left anyway. There’s not much here for me on this tour besides the people.

I run my hands through my hair repeatedly. I take a deep breath. I don’t know what to do or if I should even be doing something. I feel very confused inside. I don’t know how to feel. I’m still mad, but I feel lost, which creates this confused feeling within me. I let my head fall into my hands. I feel this sudden stress that was created from my thought of going home. Home. I haven’t been there in so long, and I could visit Lou’s grave. That would be nice.

Austin walks in the room. I stand up before he can say anything, “I want to go home,” I blurt out.

“What? Why? Is this because of Niall?” He asks.

“No. This has nothing to do with Niall. It’s just time for me to go home,” I tell him.

“But you can't leave me. What am I supposed to do? I don’t want to go home. I thought we were having fun,” Austin crunches his face up in confusion.

“Of course I’m having fun, but I just need to get away from all the craziness for a bit,” I explain.

Austin sits down next to me. “You really want to go home?” I nod. “And this has nothing to do with Niall?” I nod again. He groans loudly and falls backwards onto the bed. “If that’s what you want then alright,” he says.

“You aren’t guilting me into doing what you want,” I tell him.

“I know that’s why that one was weak,” Austin assures me.

“Sorry,” I mumble lowly.

Austin sits back up. “Why are you sorry?”

“Because you seem upset about it,” I explain.

“Just think about it today and make sure it’s what you want,” Austin pleads.

“This is what I want,” I assure him.