Darted Hearts

33

33

“You sure you won’t be coming with us?” Tanong ni Papa habang hinahanda ang mga gamit nila ni Mamay.

“Yes, Pa. I’m okay here and besides my friends are coming over. They might spend a night here, is it okay?” Ngiti ko sa kanya.

“Of course, dear. I’ll have the guess rooms prepared. Mukhang ito ang unang pagkakataong may papupuntahin kang mga kaibigan dito sa bahay, a? Just take care, okay? Pupunta ba si Demi?” Ani Mamay na naglalagay ng make-up sa mukha niya.

“Of course, May. Hindi magpapahuli iyon.” Nakangiting sagot ko.

“And my friends... well, palagi nalang kasi kaming sa condo ko or sa bar nagpaparty, they’ve been into our other houses but not this one. Malayo rin naman kasi ito and now they wanted something different this time, something cool like exploring the mansion of one of the multibillionare, the mansion of the great Reianheld to be exact.” I playfully said and winked at my Papa.

Napangisi siya sa sinabi ko, “If that’s the case, then don’t you ever forget to let them see our special room. To let them witness of how lucky I am to have a stunning wife and a gorgeous daughter like the both of you.”

Natawa kami ni Mamay sa sinabi niya. Tumayo kaming dalawa at niyakap siya.

God! Of all the dreams that I had, mas hindi ko inasahang magiging totoo ito. To have a family like this is all I could ever ask for.

Tinulungan ko si Papa sa pag-aayos ng nga dadalhin nila habang si Mamay naman ay nag-aayos pa sa sarili niya.

“Oh wait, I got something for the both of you.” Pumunta ako saking kwarto at kinuha iyong painting na nakawrapped.

“Happy Anniversary, again.” Ngisi ko at binigay iyon.

“Aww, thank you Arry. We’ll be back in a week. We love you.” Sabay nilang yakap sa akin.

Marami pang bilin sa akin si Mamay hanggang sa napagpasyahan nilang umalis na. They’re bound to Italy, to spend their third anniversary celebration there.

Kumaway ako sa sasakyan nila habang lumalayo ito. I hope they would really take their time in there.

Pumasok na ako sa loob. Habang naglalakad ay nahagilap ng mata ko ang painting na nakasabit sa gitna ng dining room namin.

Nagiging center of attraction ito dahil may ispesyal na kulay ng mga ilaw na nakatutok dito. Papa loves it so much.

Tiningnan ko ang painting. The piece that holds a great part of me, the piece that changed my life utterly.

“Mamay...” Hagulgol ko habang kausap siya sa phone.

I told her eveything. Every single thing. I thanked God for letting her understand everything, understand my decision, and understand me.

It’s already eleven in the evening at hindi pa rin ako nakabalik sa suit. I am completely lost, emotionally and mentally.

“Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, May. Tomorrow’s the finale and I don’t know what to do. Blanko ang utak ko, hindi makapag-isip ng tama. My heart’s been all messed up and so is my mind. Mamay, ayaw ko na. Ayaw ko na May.” Sunod-sunod kong usal habang humihikbi.

“Shh, shh, shh. Tahan na. I’m so sorry for not being there, Riya.” Aniya na mas nagpaiyak sa akin.

Andito ako ngayon sa isang private room ng isang restaurant. Nag-order ako ng pagkain kahit wala naman talaga akong gana sa lahat. I just want to be alone.

Biglang tumahimik ang linya. I was about to call her name nang nagsalita siya.

“You remember my favorite piece?” Tanong niya.

“Yes, the Silhouette. What about it, May?” Litong tanong ko.

“You see, it’ll not be my favored piece for nothing. It holds a great lesson, Riya.” Wika niya mula sa kabilang linya.

Nanatili akong tahimik. Naghihintay sa dugtong niya.

“In that painting, you can see a fusion of light and darkness. Some parts are blended, some are not.” Patuloy niya.

Yes, there was a fusion of both sides but still, it resulted a remarkable piece.

“That resembles life, Riya. We all experience being in the shed of light and in the shadow of darkness. We all experience happiness, having the feeling of being in the right place and of course we all experience pain and the different aches of life.”

Tulala lang ako habang nakikinig kay Mamay. Slowly processing everything she’s saying.

“But we cannot escape being in the middle of them.” The fusion, patuloy ko sa aking isip.

“We all experience being torn in both of them. Being in pain... but you know for yourself that it’s the rightful thing to do. To give up in change for the happiness of the both you. You cannot escape that, Riya. It’s inevitable.” And then tears started creeping on my cheeks again.

Lord, when will I ever stop crying?

“Deciding to break the knot between you two is not wrong, you’re doing it for the greater good. You two will suffer kung ipagpapatuloy niyo iyan, kahit hindi mo man sabihin, alam kong hindi mo pa kayang magtiwala muli sa kanya.” Wika niya mula sa kabilang linya.

I just hope na mayroon din itong mabuting maidudulot sa kabila ng lahat ng sakit. Tama si Mamay, sa mga nangyayari ngayon, hinding-hindi ko pa kayang magtiwala sa kanya.

My heart’s been too shattered from all the pain I’ve been feeling. Sa lahat ng sakit... I don’t even know if I could ever stand up again.

Frau has always been part of my life, in everyday and in every hour, palaging may Frau... not until that day came. The first time I saw him with the other girl... the wall I’ve been building for the both of us started cracking.

“But May, what if mali pala ang desisyon ko? Paano kung... paano kung mababaw lang pala ‘tong rason na ‘to upang tapusin kaming dalawa? What if the consequences are worst? What if--”

Bigla akong natahimik nang pinutol niya anv pagsasalita ko, “Shh, stop those damn what ifs, Arry. I did not raise you to be weak.”

Napakagat ako sa aking labi dahil sa sinabi niya. Yes, you’re right May. I’m sorry for being weak, Frau’s one of my weakness at hindi ko mapigilang pairalin ang kahinaang ito sa mga nangyayari ngayon.

“If you’re afraid of the fucking consequences then face it! You have us, you have me, Demi, Haste, Vast... those friends who were there to lift you up.” Patuloy niya.

Yes. Mga taong tumulong sa akin, sa pagiging nandiyan sa oras na madilim ang mundo ko. For Haste and Vast, I may only knew them for a short period of time... but the happiness and help they gave is worth a lifetime to thank.

“The consequences might be worst but I just can’t let you continue that fucked up relationship of yours knowing that my daughter is hurting! Never in a million years would I let that fucking happen, Arry dear.” Mariing wika niya.

Isang mainit na haplos ang bumalot sa puso ko dahil sa sinabi niya. God, Mamay. Thank you for being there.

“Sorry for the curses, dear. Now, I sound like a bad Mother.” Mahinang halakhak niya.

Bahagya rin akong napatawa, “No, May. You’re the best Mom ever.”