SHE against Pains (KAI Exo)

Heart Suicide

Kai felt like his world just dropped off his hands as he heard that from her. " You are kidding me..".

" No. I'm serious.", she replied even though her heart was bleeding.

" I don't need even to answer it. I can't let you go again. Not again, Sulli.. We have got enough with farewell.", he said looking at her with the full of sadness. Sulli also hated to see him in sorrow. As her mind, she would never like to make him sad and be happy with the pains he gave. But now, she couldn't afford it either.

" Yeah. I endured all of the pains just because I loved you. But now, I can't do that anymore. Kai, please enter my heart just for once. You will cry terribly if you know how I had gone through. .. I wanted to be loved by you, and it might be also because I needed someone by my side. But I admit I, myself, fell for you. I loved you a lot and that's the reason my past. Now, I can't feel your love anymore, all seems like you thought me as your responsibility. It's not even now, Kai. I have been feeling like this since you broke me up for the first time.".

" You think I don't love you anymore? You think all of my reasons was just to make myself feel relieved?", he snorted, " You are wrong, Sulli.. I had never taken care of you just because your father asked me to. It's all because I want to. I want to protect you and put you in heaven. So I might be missing some part to make you feel my love. But I love you with the love you might never imagine.", Kai said trying to control his tears not to fall down in front of her again.

" You had never protected me, Kai. You only gave me pains.", she insisted softly. She had no strength now. She had already forgiven him for the faults he had committed and even for the faults he had not even committed yet.

" I'm not happy either. This is what is love. We can't only want happiness. True love is composed of blood and tears.", he replied.

" That's why I am asking you this. Let me go and we can end this unfair love well.", she said and averted her eyes to look at the blanket that was covering her lower parts.

He didn't talk for a moment and so didn't she. " .. What's wrong with you at all sudden? We were happy even last week.", she heard his voice, which was barely heard.

" No. I have never been happy. It's just I'm pretending to be happy..", she didn't lie. It was only the truth among the words she was saying to him.

Her hand immediately gripped on the bed sheet as she heard him sob. Even though she couldn't see him crying, she knew that he would be filling with tears.

He sighed heavily and turned away not to stare at her cruelty anymore. " I can't. I will never let you go again because I'm not back to let you go.".

Then she felt a weight leaving the bed. And she closed her eyes shut and let the tears fall on her cold cheeks, he left the room. It was just a start of her pretending.

•••••

As Sulli came out of the room at the morning, Mi Sook roamed her eyes to look for her son.

" Where is Kai, Sulli?", she asked when her eyes couldn't get a glimpse of the big son.

" Yes?", she, in real, couldn't find a word to say to the elders. Taeoh got up and hugged her thigh that made her hand automatically reach on his head.

" Perhaps.. He didn't come back last night?", Mi Rim, who was sitting, asked.

" .. Yeah.", she gave the answer hesitatingly. Worrying for elders would find out their condition, she tried to hide it out.

" Oh, why? Does he have something for work?", Yugyeom, who didn't know the situation well, asked.

" Like that, Sulli?", Mi Sook was worried earlier but now, she felt relieved when Yugyeom gave the best sample.