Die for us

I like your attitude.

Jason’s POV –

I lay sprawled over my couch, my head resting on the arm rest. I couldn’t sleep in my room obviously after the fire had turned my entire room into an oven. I’d have to wait a couple weeks to get it redone. But then again, I don’t think I’d be able to step foot in there after what happened.

I was staring at my phone’s blank screen. Thinking about Jazmyn.

The house was quiet for once, I couldn’t stand it. I’d usually hear Jazzy’s laugh coming from Megan’s room or her walking along the floor board. She was always up to something, she never sat still.

Now the house was dead with only a memory of what once was and what will never be again.

I sighed not knowing how I’d be able to cope with the silence from now on.

“You can’t keep me safe forever you know.” Jazzy finally looked up at me and I saw tears piling up in her eyes.

I felt a sting in my eyes as tears of my own began to build up. I stared up at the ceiling trying to keep the tears from overlapping and spilling down my cheeks.

“You were right...” I whispered at nothing, shutting my eyes tightly.

I promised you….I promised I wouldn’t let anything happen…and you die. I let you down, you were right…I couldn’t keep you safe.

If I could go back in time and just have checked on Jazzy before anything else. If I could have just moved faster, no hesitating.

“Even if she was already….dead…I could have gotten Bryn. This would be over with.” I said to myself, shaking my head.

I opened my eyes, blinking in attempt to hold back tears. The tears disobey me and spill over my cheeks, I sob once, not wanting anyone to hear me.

I heard a door open and close from the second floor, I sat up, quickly drying my face from the tears.

Chris’ voice spoke from the head of the staircase, “Are you still awake bro?”

“Yea, what’s up?” I answered; my tone of voice exposing I had previously been crying.

Chris began walking down the stairs, I lifted my feet off of the couch and onto the floor, propping my elbows onto my knees.

“How are you holding up?” Chris asked, taking a seat in the arm chair across from me.

I shrugged, keeping my head down low. “I don’t know. I’m just trying to find ways to cope with it…without seeming like I don’t care at the same time.”

Chris nodded, understanding. “I understand, we all know you care. We care too, we all loved Jazzy, and you know that.”

I felt a sting in my eyes again, “I know…it just sucks to know I’m not going to be able to hear her voice anymore….or even see her again for that matter.”

Chris slumped in his seat, not knowing how to reply, he brought his hands together, licking his lips as he did so. He opened his mouth to say something but then rethought about it and decided not to. He leaned forward, settling his elbows on his knees.

“Do you have any ideas for coping?” Chris finally said.

I sat back in the couch, digging my hands into my pockets, my right hand playing with my phone inside the pocket. “I talked to Jane…”

Chris’ eyebrows shot up, “You did? When was this?”

“Not too long ago, Tatti gave her my number and she called to send some remorse for the situation.” I shrugged acting as if it weren’t a big deal.