Die for us

I fucked up this time...

Bryn’s POV –

Now it’s my turn to take a step back and Jason actually takes a step forward. I look down at his shoes and take another step back. I turn around making sure I wasn’t inching any closer to one of the three tombstones. As I turn around to look at Jason I notice him staring at the picture of his parents.

His eyes narrow down and he slowly looks at me. I tremble as I stare into his eyes and my legs feel the need to step away from him. He opens his mouth to speak and I wait for another remark from him but he refrains from the idea and shuts his mouth.

I turn around again and look at the photo of Jazmyn.

“Forgiving is easier said than done.” Jason sighs.

I blink as I stare at the photo then sharply twist my head in Jason’s direction. I take a step towards him and my hand shakes, wanting to touch him. He didn’t seem real to me anymore, all the hate and the drama has caused me to feel like any glimpse of him was just a piece of my imagination.

“I know you don’t want me to keep repeating the same things but Jason, I’m sorry. You don’t have to forgive me, just know my side to this...let me explain.”

“I think I’ve heard enough.”

“So that’s it?” I say, blinking back the tears that were forming. “It’s done and over with? No more chances?”

“Bryn, you lied to me all this time...I don’t care about the little shit you lied about. But this,” Jason points at Jazmyn’s tombstone. “I care about that. How do you expect me to keep giving you chances?”

He straightens up and sighs, keeping his eyes locked with mine. We were so close to each other now, I was about to break down.

“Why do you keep wearing this?” Jason asks, pointing at my necklace.

I subconsciously bring a hand up to touch my necklace, grabbing the heart. My mouth opens and I look away from Jason, no words wander out of my mouth because I don’t know what to say. Jason scoffs, shaking his head at me, but I can tell he was still looking at my face.

“I may have lied about who I am. I may have lied about Blissity, about not being able to shoot a gun. About not knowing where ‘Bryn’ is, about a lot of things. But I never lied about my feelings for you. I mean it from the bottom of my cold heart, I love you. I just want a chance to gain your trust.” I finally say and look up into his brown eyes.

Jason licks his lips, “I’m just...I don’t know.”

“You won’t give me a chance to explain myself and you won’t let me start over. If this is how you want to end this then tell me now and I’ll leave because I’m falling apart while standing here.”

“Then it looks like we’re both falling apart.”

I stare at Jason and he stares back for a moment. I drop my hands to my sides and decide to give up. Jason is being completely unreasonable and I wasn’t about to beg for a chance. He’s right of course. With every chance he gives me, it seems as though my middle finger is the response he gets because I only fuck him over.

I won’t apologize anymore, apologizing isn’t changing anything. Apologizing is not going to pull him towards the path of forgiveness and apologizing won’t get him to hold me.

I look at Jason’s lips and just think about how bad I want to kiss him. Eventually I look up at Jason and he stares at me with sad eyes, he wants to forgive me but he can’t find the will to do it.

I try to smile but I fail and Jason blinks at me, I then get this feeling that he was fighting the urge to touch me. I walk around him and decide to leave; there was nothing I can do anymore. I hear Jason turn around and watch me walk away and I bite my lip to keep it from trembling. I twist and turn around statues, holding back tears that were shaking at the corners of my eyes. I blink once and they fall down my cheeks, hitting the grass below me.