Die for us

Comas aren't for true bad asses...

Bryn’s POV –

As a child, I remember watching the famous movie Peter Pan. I remember that one quote from the movie that I loved so much; I even wanted it tattooed on me. Of course my father told me that would never happen.

But the quote was something that goes with this situation.

“To die...would be an awfully big adventure.”

Thinking over it now that I’m faced with death. It’s not that great of an adventure at all. In the state or realm or whatever condition you’d like to call this, there was nothing but darkness. I can’t say this is what death is like because clearly I’ve never died before.

But how else do you describe this? I’m not dead, but I’m not conscious to be classified as alive. I know I’m alive because somehow my hearing would come in and go out at the most bizarre of times. Or maybe I’m dead and my self-conscience is just making things up. Things that I’d want to hear if I were living.

“You better wake up,” I heard Jason say with a small laugh. “Comas aren’t for true bad asses.”

If I could make a sound, I’d be laughing.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.”

I hear Jason’s voice resonating in my head. I can’t move, I can’t speak. Don’t get me wrong, I want nothing more than to tell Jason this wasn’t his fault. That even after all this I still loved him, more than I did yesterday and I’ll love him even more tomorrow.

I was prepared to untangle myself from many things in my life but one thing I’d never unravel myself from is Jason’s love.

“...Everything about you is just...there’s no way to put this...”

If I were able to express myself through facial expressions right now I’d be smiling. I didn’t hear everything Jason was saying, I didn’t even know if any of this was actually real. All the same, I loved all that was being said. Jason’s soft side was a favorite of mine; I loved seeing his vulnerable side. That was a part of Jason people don’t get to see so of course I felt all the more special.

I actually feel something now. In this state of complete darkness, I am able to feel. I feel a hand on mine. Not only that but I feel something else, lips I believe. Lips pressing against my fingers.

“The same way you say I complete you...I feel like you complete me too...”

If I could feel my heart beat, it’d probably be accelerating. If I were able to look Jason in the eyes, I know for a fact I’d be blushing and Jason would be smirking. I know him all too well. In the pit of darkness and silence, I am only provided with the sound of Jason’s voice. That doesn’t help me try to grasp where I might be right now.

By now, I can come to the conclusion that it’s Jason kissing my hand. Then all is silent but I still feel the strength of his hand on mine. That was soothing and actually gave me some hope to fact that I might not be dead.

In the abyss that I seemed to be in, the only thing I can feel is Jason’s love for me.

That was good. It’d be even better if he had said it to me...but then maybe I’d actually die from hearing the words escape his lips. I don’t want to be in an insentient position while Jason is confessing his true feelings for me. Now that’s unfair.

I guess in the condition I’m in, time doesn’t exist. But if it does I’d say about an hour or so has passed. I don’t know for sure, maybe a day has gone by. Who knows? Not me, that’s for sure.