Die for us

I'm doing this for Jazzy....

Jason’s POV –

Jane pulls away from the kiss and remains looking into my eyes. I stare back and for a while we say nothing.

I still didn’t understand her, why was she acting as if something were about to happen? Why does she feel like she’ll lose me? We only just said we love each other and I’m not leaving her. Does she still think of me as a guy who’d just leave her for the ‘next best thing’ that walks by me?

I’m not the same and no one will be better than Jane. I’m afraid of serious relationships but I’m not afraid of being with Jane. She recognizes my lifestyle and if I ever have settle things with other gangs, she’ll understand. She won’t question me.

I look away from Jane and stare up at the ceiling; I can still feel her eyes staring at my profile.

“Do you think I’m going to leave you?” I ask her, still staring at the ceiling.

Jane is hesitant for a moment and she tries to come up with a good answer. From the corner of my eye I can see her tuck her hair behind her ear and stare at the pillow cases. She moves so she is lying on her stomach, her arms together in front of her and she’s propped up on her elbows. She now stares at her hands.

“I don’t know what I think anymore.” Jane finally speaks, shutting her eyes.

I clear my throat nervously and look at her. She opens her eyes and she looks at me, smiling faintly. I lift up a hand and place it on her cheek and she takes her hand, putting it over mine.

“What are you really afraid of?” I urge sternly, sincerely wanting to know what was bothering her.

I hate seeing her like this, I don’t want her stressed and what’s making it worse is that I have no idea why she’s acting this way. She’s being secretive, probably because she feels it’s what’s best for her but in actuality it’s not. She helped me open up and I’m trying to do the same for her.

Jane turns her head and kisses my hand then stares at my fingers. I see something shimmer for a split second and I look at her neck and see her necklace dangling over the mattress. I stare at the heart and read our names and I guess Jane noticed because she lets my hand go and grabs onto the necklace.

I look up to see her fighting back tears and she turns away from me so I don’t watch her fail. I turn on my side, facing her, and wrap my arm around her shoulder. I prop myself up on one elbow and crane my neck to try and look at her.

“Jane...” I trail off, feeling her pain.

She sniffs and turns her head to look at me, our faces inches apart. She wipes away the tears falling from her eyes and tries to breathe calmly.

“I’m afraid that you’ll stop loving me.” Jane sighs, looking down at her fingers.

I nod my head, not quite sure why she’d think like that. I sit up and grab her by her sides, pulling her onto my lap. She remains staring at her fingers and I kiss the side of her head.

“At the field,” I start, pulling away from her hair and stare at her fingers. “I told you that I don’t remember when I fell in love with you but I know that I’m in love with you...”

Jane looks up at me and I lick my lips, rubbing her back.

“Always will be.” I look at her. “You don’t need to be afraid of me falling out of love for you because that will never happen.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I’m not...But I am sure that I’m not giving up on us. I regret comparing you to Veronica and I regret a lot of the things I’ve done to cause you pain. There is no way for me stop loving you honestly, you’re perfect to me. You’re my everything.”