One out of a million girls in the crowd {A Million Girls #1}

Chapter 30: You're back / Give me a reason

"(Y/n)." He said as your breathing increased "Billie." You reply, folding your arms. You let him in as Amelia said "Daddy, can you put me back to bed?" He looked at you, awaiting your permission. "Sure." You smiled as Amelia squealed excitedly and was taken back to bed. Once Billie had gone upstairs, you stood frozen, you couldn't move, your heart was hurting again. Seeing Billie had triggered something in you, the love you felt for him, deep down you knew that even if you never work things out you'd always love him unlike anyone else. 

After 10 or so minutes, Billie came back downstairs. 

"Can I talk to you?" Said Billie. You hesitated slightly, not sure whether you could bare the pain but of course you agreed. 

"Sure." You gestured towards the sofa, the both of you taking a seat. 

There was a moment of silence. " I am so sorry (Y/n). I really am. I was out of line for walking out on you and the kids like that. I was --- scared." 

"Of what?" You ask. "Being a parent?Having responsibilities?" 

"I scared that I was going to lose you, all of you." 

"You nearly did. Do you have any idea what those kids have been through? Amelia thought she had done something wrong, that she was the reason you weren't here." You paused. "You're so lucky that I saved your ass and told her you were working out of town and the phone lines were bad." 

He sighed. "If I didn't leave, they were going to hurt you. I couldn't stand by and watch that happen. That's why I got drunk, because I didn't know what else to do to forget about it."

"Who was going to hurt us." 

"They're not important anymore (Y/n). Mike helped me sort it out and they won't be bothering us anymore."

There was another pause as you looked away from him. "(Y/n). You and the kids were all I thought about. Please can you try and forgive me and give me one more chance?" He pleaded. 

"I thought you weren't meant to be a dad?" You replied, ignoring his question. 

"I panicked Okay? I love my kids you know that but I thought I wasn't meant to be a dad because I was worried I couldn't protect them or you. That's why I left to keep you safe." 

You looked down as he moved closer to you and held your hand. "You broke my heart when you walked out of that door. You know that right?" 

"I do and I promise that it'll never happen again. I love you." 

He pulled you into a hug, you wanted to resist it but you needed him more than ever and you understood why he did it. You probably would have done the same if it meant the safety of Amelia, Joey, Jakob and Billie. 

"I love you too Billie." You silently cried into his shoulder.