Alternatively Titled: Being A Frog Just Isn't Living
Aka more than two thousand words of trash.
Once upon a time, there was a frog named Dan. Dan was a very happy frog. He loved eating flies and doing nothing all day.
A mean wizard who called himself The Dragon Slayer came across Dan. The wizard stroked his beard he conjured for himself earlier. He had an urge to fuck shit up.
"Oogha booga boo, turn into a useless human ooo!!" The wizard chanted. A silvery light came from his palms, and he thrusted it towards Dan, the innocent frog.
The frog croaked as his body began to transform into that of a man. A useless human being.
The wizard was going to fuck off but then he decided to give Dan a break. "If you go to Raenell City, you might find someone who could change you back." Then he fucked off somewhere.
Dan, who was now human, did not know what to do with this information. He didn't even know how to function as a human!
He hopped everywhere, not knowing how to walk. Luckily, he went down a few blocks and saw a sign that directed him to the major cities in the area.
Blood City - 5 miles north
Dingus Metropolis - 2 miles south.
Raenell City - 15 miles somewhere.
Somewhere? How was Dan supposed to get to Raenell City then?
Dan hopped all the way to Dingus Metropolis in hopes to find someone who could direct him to Raenell City. When he was there, he walked into a Taco Bell.
The most friendliest person there was a man sat at a table. He looked like he didn't even know what he was doing there. Dan noted the man's forehead was very big. Maybe this man got cursed by a wizard too.
Dan went over there, and sat down. He wasn't exactly sure if he knew English, but he tried. "Yo man," he said.
The man smiled really wide. "Oh my god! Hello!"
Dan pointed to him, but mainly at his forehead. "Did you get cursed by a wizard?"
The man shook his head. He wasn't cursed. He just had a large forehead. He had an idea of who this man was talking about though. "Are you talking about The Dragon Slayer?"
Dan exclaimed, "That hoe turned me into a human! I was a frog!"
The man nodded glumly. "Yeah. He's a mean man. He used to be my friend, though. And he wasn't always called that."
Dan asked, "What's your name?"
"Satan," the man responded sarcastically. But Dan didn't understand sarcasm.
"Okay Satan!" Dan exclaimed. "Can you help me get to Raenell City?"
Satan looked like he was considering this. "Can we make a stop somewhere?" Dan nodded. "Okay," Satan said. "I need to go talk to someone in Plant City."
It was at that moment that Dan decided all of these city names sucked ass.
They walked out of Taco Bell and began their trek to Plant City. Satan decided to tell him stories about all of the cities.
Blood City was led by a vampire. Well, that wasn't confirmed. Everybody just thought he was a vampire. Dan thought this was interesting.
Dingus Metropolis was led by two teenage girls. It was pretty much where you wanted to go if you needed to have fun.
Raenell City was the most populated. It was pretty much like the capital. Literally everything was there.
Plant City was a bit older, but was still a pleasant place. And apparently Satan had a friend there. The one that they were going to find.
