_the_dreamer_ (Ashley)

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before you read: when you read this, imagine that they are kinda like blogposts. secondly, i keep it vague and never say who is who, so tell me in the comments who you think it is :)

small warnings for: cheating and alcoholism. there's a bit of angst in general, but nothing about the cheating or alcoholism is really in depth.

----

the_dreamer_;

autumn. the wind whipping through. the orange and yellow leaves falling to the ground. the feeling of your hand in mine. my head on your shoulder. joy.


_the_dreamer_;

new beginnings. shy kisses. a swarm of butterflies in our stomachs. the world is new for me and you.


_the_dreamer_;

adjustment. two coffees made in the morning. didn't forget the sugar for yours. kiss on the cheek before you leave.


_the_dreamer_;

change. smell of alcohol on your breath. help is offered. help is denied.


_the_dreamer_;

rough edges. hot and then cold. no sleeping until two am. separate beds. ache.


_the_dreamer_;

you don't want pity. i want the old you.


_the_dreamer_;

tears. sorrow. remembrance. what happened to the boy I fell for?


_the_dreamer_;

you're hollow. watered-down version of you.


_the_dreamer_;

you told me to leave. i stayed.


_the_dreamer_;

apologies. didn't mean much when you took a swig of what you shouldn't.


_the_dreamer_;

felt a sting on my cheek. marked with your imprint.


_the_dreamer_;

finding it harder to stay when you tell me to leave.


_the_dreamer_;

i liked it back when i didn't know love could hurt.


_the_dreamer_;

you were with somebody you shouldn't because you keep drinking what you shouldn't.


_the_dreamer_;

i don't know how to deal with the sounds i hear.


_the_dreamer_;

i tell myself to leave. memories of who you used to be make me stay.


_the_dreamer_;

unwanted. kicked out. you forced me to leave, because we both know I couldn't.


_the_dreamer_;

feel cold. shivering. im all alone. you don't want me, and nobody else does either.


_the_dreamer_;

i only remember the way you looked when you were upset with me.


_the_dreamer_;

haunted by the past. can't move on.


_the_dreamer_;

i'm not a dreamer anymore. being a dreamer means that you had something to look forward to.


_the_dreamer_;

dreamer's long for the future. i long for the past.


_the_dreamer_;

winter. the cold air against my skin. the grey atmosphere. snowflakes falling. my gloved hands. i am alone. blue. sad.


----

so that is the end of this one.

what do you guys think about it?

i wrote this kind of randomly, but i really like the style it has. my favorite thing is how the last post is similar to the first but it contrasts. i really like this one :)

quite angsty too.

~Ashley







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