"Oh gee golly," Phil says, pressing his glasses up, glancing at the clock at the corner of his computer screen. It reads as follows: 11:22 AM, June 3rd, 2036. "Maybe for my lunch break I could pop up at Taco Bell," he pondered aloud.
"I'd recommend you stop talking to yourself and get back to work," A stern voice asserted. Phil looked up and gasped. It was the CEO of Memes Incorporated, Daniel Howell, a highly fashionable man who was currently wearing a shirt that looked like a potato sack. Trust me, it's fashionable.
"I'm so sorry, sir!" Phil apologized. "I'll get back to work and worry about my lunch plans later."
Daniel seemed appeased by this. "Just get back to work," the CEO said, walking away from Phil's cubicle.
Phil furiously started typing on his computer, searching for the hottest and dankest memes. He found a few that were irrelevant, like ones that talked about Donald Trump, who had died in 2025.
Phil loved his job. He worked at a company that dealt with memes, for Pepe's sake! (Pepe's sake was a common phrase these days, as he was often treated as a god.) In the recent years, making memes became more of a career than a hobby, and those who scourged them and found all the best ones were called Meme Sneaks.
It is highly debated whether companies such as Memes Incorporated were ethical, since it is commonly known that they steal memes. But Phil could care less about that. It was all about the memes to him, not who made them.
And he may have a slight thing for his superior, the CEO of the company, but that is irrelevant.
-----
"Now I'm not saying I'm judging you," Frank said, his voice showing he was totally judging. "But this sounds completely stupid." Frank's blue hair reminded Phil of a smurf, which is why he befriended the man. (A/N: Yes, this is CrankThatFrank. Gotta add my favs.)
"Did I ask?" Phil responded sassily. Frank was impressed by this display, but had seen better.
"No, but don't you realize all your female coworkers have probably attempted the same thing?" Frank asked, recalling all the stories Phil told about how the employees at Memes Incorporated interacted. "I mean, you told me all the girls are after Daniel."
Phil realized he had a point. "That's true," he admitted. "But I'll be different somehow! He'll be impressed, and we'll ride off into the sunset, and have our happy gay ever after."
Frank chuckled at his naivety. "That's not how the world works, but whatever, I'll support you and help you in any way."
Phil beamed, and started tell him about his role in the plan. Phil thought it was pretty solid, to be honest.
Frank was going to dress up as Pepe, the most loved and cherished meme. If Daniel gushed over him, then Phil finds out something to his advantage. If not, then Frank is to pretend as if he's dating Phil, and they'll just see what'll happens. It can only go well.
-----
Frank swaggered up to the front desk, wearing the Pepe costume. He felt fabulous in it. He leaned on the counter. "May I speak to the CEO?" he asked, his tone seductive.
The worker at the front desk sweated severely, and started fanning themselves. "Certainly," the worker said. "He'd be a fool to reject your offer to speak."
As the worker left to go get the CEO, Frank did a thumbs up to Phil, who was on his break currently and was watching this unfold.
Suddenly, the CEO came to the front desk, confident and passive. "What do you need, sir?" he asked blankly.
Frank was shocked that he didn't have much of a reaction to the costume. But he was determined. He smirked, and took the chance. "You," he responded, flirtatiously.
Daniel's face remained calm. Frank couldn't even see a bead of sweat on his forehead. Damn, he was good. "I'll have to reject your offer," the CEO responded professionally, as if this happened every other day. Frank wouldn't be surprised. But Daniel leaned in closer and whispered something in his ear that made Frank squeal on the inside. "Tell your friend he can talk to me anytime," the CEO whispered, pulling away to look at the previously mentioned friend.
"Will do," Frank responded, getting rid of the flirtatious act. "He's just shy."
Daniel beamed. "Oh, that's quite alright. I'm sure he won't be so shy after a while."
Frank thought that was rather smooth, and he instantly approved of Daniel dating his friend. Before, he had his doubts, but he's sure now.
Daniel whispered again in Frank's ear, telling him what he should say to Phil.
Frank quickly left the front desk area, and went to sit down to the very anxious Phil. "What happened?!" Phil asked, sweating.
"He said he wants your dick," Frank replied, and Phil blushed a deep red.
-----
"You cheeky fellow!" Phil exclaimed, confronting Daniel after the work day was over.
Daniel raised an eyebrow. "Someone had to make the move," he explained.
Phil whined, "But I was totally going to!" At Daniel's expression, he added, "Totally going to!"
"Does it matter anymore?" Daniel retorted, "We've got a good ending."
"Not yet," Phil responded, a smile forming on his lips.
An hour later, Phil was holding a picture of a Pepe, determined to get a reaction out of him. The Pepe was showing off it's curves, and Phil knew that Dan couldn't resist, no matter what. "Is it still memes that make you sweat?" he whispered seductively, leaning in closer to Daniel, shoving the picture into his eyes.
Daniel pointed to his face, which was literally drenched in sweat. "Very much so, and I hate my weakness."
Phil tossed the picture of Pepe on the ground, and pushed Daniel to the ground. "But I love it," he said fondly, messing with one of Daniel's curls.
Daniel swatted his hand. "Not yet."
"Okay," Phil responded.
"Happy gay ever after?" Daniel said.
"Happy gay ever after!"
----
FIN
