Dan tossed his phone onto the pillow, crossing his arms. He was tired of feeling inferior and jealous all the time.
The phone had shown a picture on his instagram posted by his friend, the friend who couldn't even text him earlier because he was so busy. In the picture, his friend was grinning, facing the camera, and another guy was behind him, grinning along with him.
It had been so long since Dan and his friend had hung out. So long that he had started to feel like his friend was purposely neglecting him and that didn't bode well with Dan. If there was one thing Dan didn't like, it was being ignored.
Part of him knew he was being irrational, but this was really getting to him recently. Him and Phil were best friends, and he felt like that title was slowly fading away and soon enough they would be mere acquaintances.
Dan picked up his phone and sent him a text.
dando: can we call later?
philchu: ya. i'll call you when i'm free.
dando: kk.
---
"What's up?" Phil greeted him after Dan picked up.
"I just wanted to have a talk with you about something..." Dan muttered, feeling kind of silly. Maybe he was just thinking too hard about this. They're clearly still friendly with each other, shouldn't that be enough?
But then he remembers what it had been like when they had a close friendship, and his heart ached. He longed for those days, so he pushed back his nerves to keep going.
"About what?" Phil asked carefully.
"I-I'm starting to think our friendship is dying," Dan answered, then rushes to explain himself. "I mean, we've been hanging out less and less and you're hanging out with other people and I see it all the time an--"
"And you're jealous?" Phil interrupted, scoffing afterwards. "Dan, you're not my only friend. Get used to it."
"I know I'm not," Dan acknowledged, his voice weaker as his confidence shrunk and his stomach dropped.
"Just because I'm your only friend doesn't mean you can be this clingy," Phil coldly spat, and Dan could picture his angry expression. "I'll talk to you later."
And then Phil hung up.
Dan pulled the phone away from his ear and dropped it on the floor, running over to his bed. He flopped onto the mattress and sighed.
Phil had a point, but he hit a nerve. Mentioning his lack of friends was a low blow, even for the situation. Dan was more aware of it than Phil would ever know. It was an issue he was fixated on, and he tried fixing it, but his anxiety got in the way of meeting new people. Phil had been the only person other than family members to tolerate him.
As tears welled up in his eyes, Dan cursed himself for many reasons; for being so sensitive, clingy, and selfish.
Eventually, his sadness washed over and changed course before settling on anger. This wasn't all his fault. Phil wasn't exactly the best friend ever either.
---
philchu: hey dan, can i rant :/
philchu: dan??
philchu: where are you, buddy?
philchu: ...is this about what i said yesterday?
dando: have you ever considered i'm busy too?
dando: or are you too self absorbed?
philchu: dan, don't be a bitch.
dando: no.
philchu: what?
dando: you're such an asshole, you know? you only talk to me when you want something.
dando: i've never realized this before, but you've really given me the chance to think about things.
philchu: dan?
Read.
---
In the end, they never completely made up. Dan was tired of the negativity Phil brought into his life, as Phil would always remind him of his bad traits. Phil was tired of Dan being so clingy.
They checked up on each other the way that one would talk to a distant relative. They would reply to Facebook statuses wishing the other the best, but apart from those friendly messages, they didn't really talk.
Dan was able to make a small group of friends who were able to support him in his decisions.
Phil just moved on easily.
-FIN-
i'm starting to think the reason i'm the one who uploads more often is because i don't have much of a life. ha. ~Ashley
