he isnt that bad

wait

" seb wait" mggie sod as he reached the stairs

" mom i will lose my nerve" sebastian said

" take jacob with you he is a bond between you " maggie said walking over and handing jacob to him.

sebastian slowly climbed the stairs pausing briefly just outside her door thinking what the hell do i say.

jacob started to cry so he knew rachel probably knew he was outside her room so taking a deep breath he knocked on the door.

a moment later hiram opened the door gave him a smile the first one he hd ever given him hiram turned and although sebastian couldnt see rachel he knew it was hiram's way of telling her it was him.

" right then i will be downstairs if you need me" hiram sais walking out of the room anothet deep breathe and sebastian walked in.

he saw her looking at the floor clearly feeling as awkward as he did if not more so.

he slowly walked over to her bed and sat down still holding jacob in his arms the silence of the room broken by jacob's cries.

" has he had his medicine " sebastian asked hoping talking about jacpb would break the tension.

" yeah " rachel said sebastian nodded.

" you heard" sebastian asked a moment later

" i did" rachel said

" im sorry it came out like that i was distraught after finn said jacob didnt need me anymore" sebastian said

" i cant imagine how him saying that made you feel" rachel said

" you dont want to know how i felt it was awful" sebastian said silence fell between them.

" im not an idiot rachel i havent come here expecting you to say you feel the same i know you dont i even considered denying it like i got my words mixed up or something. then i thought your jacob's mom maybe knowing  how i feel is a good thing. i have to ask are you going to get back with him" sebastian said

" with finn" rachel said

" yeah" sebastian said

" no" rachel said

" really" sebastian asked

" really look i know i was inlove with him but i have so much going on and he wasnt there for me when i was pregnant i know he didnt have any need to be but when quinn said she was pregnant by finn i supported him. he didnt do it back and today is first time since i had jacob he even spoke to me.  he hasnt even met jacob after today i think i want to keep it that way" rachel said

" i know i am going to regret asking this but what do you think about my outburst shall i call it" sebastian asked trying to keep his voice calm even though he was an emotional wreck inside.

" honestly i dont know" rachel said

" well its not the answer i was hoping for but its not a definite no so i guess i can live with that" sebastian said

" i have so much going on right now whenever i try to think my brain aches and i just cant think" rachel said

"  i understand thats kind of why i havent told you well that and risking you shooting me down" sebastian said with a chuckle trying to lighten the mood so he didnt cry.

" i dont know whats going to happen in the future but i can promise you no one is going to take jacob away from you i wont let them " rachel said

" i know i have done some stupid things in my life but i wont mess being a dad up i know what its like to have a crap dad and i dont want my son knowing what that is like. i also know whatever happens or doesnt happen between us we have him we will always have him" sebastian said

" yeah" rachel said

" god i need a coffee do you want one" sebastian said wanting to end on that note.

" from the lima bean" rachel asked

" where else" sebastian said

" ok" rachel said sebastian handed jacob to her and stood up

" i will have a..." rachel started to say

" soy latte i know" sebastian said before walking out of the room.

as he reached the bottom of the stairs his mom appeared infront of him.

" are you alright""she asked

" i will be" sebastian said

" that was very brave of you" hiram said sebastian nodded

" is she alright" leroy asked

" i think so" sebastian said

" what did she..." maggie started to ask

" she doesnt know how she feels" sebastian said

" are you ok with that" maggie asked

" i have to be" sebastian said

"are things ok between you both" leroy asked

" yeah i think so jacob matters more than any awkwardness " sebastian said

" he does" maggie said

" im going for a coffe anyone want one" sebastian asked

author notice

hi guys hope your enjoying this story i just want to say i love finn sorry if how i am portraying upsets you