Shelter

Chapter 47

2 days later...

*Josh*

Nicolas, Emily and Ella were all in three different rooms.
If I took longer then three minutes to get Nicolas to a hospital, I could've lost my only brother in this world.

I didn't know how I was meant to break the news to Nicolas or Emily.

I rehearsed several times.
"I'm sorry to tell you this but..." fuck no, fuck.
"I'm sorry" sorry for what?
"You can make another one, this time with someone you love" what the fuck Josh?

Emily lost her baby, yet I didn't even know what to tell her.
Nicolas doesn't even know Emily had been shot accidentally, his been in a coma for the last two-days.
Lana has been crying non-stop by Emily's bed, after removing her long gone baby, she's been asleep for a day, maybe longer.

I, I on the other hand, sat hours by Nicolas, hours by Emily, but never beside Ella.
I stood by the door, watching her for several minutes.
The machines buzzing, her body wrapped in white cotton like she suffered from burns yet they were deep cuts, stitched and wrapped...from neck to toe.

I could see no skin but her pale face and fingers.

I always stood there for several minutes every hour. Watching her slow, deep breathing with the help of the machine. Her eyes, still shut for two long days.

Not a twitch, or a movement...not even a moving finger.

Nicolas and Emily on the other hand, twitched at times and gave us hope by a little movement.

Ella, sure she wasn't shot like the rest of them, yet she suffered the most.
I chose to give Nicolas a little blood and the rest to Ella while Nicolas received donated blood.
I don't know, I thought I'd give him all my blood, though It's the least I could do for Ella.

Everything I put her through, I never meant any of it.

I looked around me before I finally had the balls to enter Ella's room. I shut the door behind me before I walked towards her.
I pulled the seat by her bed, closer and sat beside her.

I gulped, raised a hand and slowly yet intensely grabbed her hand. Although it was wrapped with white cotton bandage, her fingers could be seen.
With both my hands, I grabbed that one hand.

I rubbed my fingers along hers, leaning forward as I sat beside her.

I gulped away a lump in my throat.

"Hey" I whispered, almost choking. I cleared my throat "Hey" I repeated, rubbing my fingers along hers.
I cleared my throat once again and again.
"Hey"

I looked at her eyes, shut, pale and peaceful.
Her breathing sounding more intense that watching her breathe with the help of a machine, was painful to watch.

I raised my hand and wiped away a wet drop along my cheek.

Tears?
Fuck.

Once again, my two hands wrapped her tiny hand, playing with her fingers.

"Ella" I said, my eyes on her eyelids, like I was wishing she'd just open them for a second. "Move your fingers, move something" I whispered. "The doctors said you could lay here for weeks...a month...more"

I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry" I finally said, after all these painful days. "I'm sorry" I said, having tears run down my cheeks for the second time this week. "I'm fucking sorry"

I leaned forward, placing my head against her hand as I continued rubbing them. I placed a kiss at her knuckles, one, two...until I kissed all of them.