A Royal Engagement

Hidden Attempt

(LAO)

The first attempt on the Crown Prince is so hidden you won't think it's an attempt at all.

Dayu made it more confusing...by being, well...Dayu.

It happened while the Crown Prince and his Consort is visiting a zoo. Now, I am really starting to hate the investigator we paid to investigate Dayu when we first decided to approach him. He botched the job so bad, he didn't included in his reports that Dayu is uncomfortable around certain animals like lions, tigers, elephants, monkeys, snakes (I hate snakes Wang Qing!), donkeys, horses, ducks, chickens...all kinds of birds...

Basically all animals.

Dayu is hazardous to animals. That's what he said. Chong and the Crown Prince were stunned while watching Dayu walk back and forth as we wait for the organizers of the event in the zoo to call us for the ceremony.

Some exotic birds are being surrendered to the wildlife preserve institution and they chose to give some of those birds in the care of the biggest zoo in Beijing.

They invited the Crown Prince and his Consort to the hand over ceremony.

Now, Dayu is going out of his mind again by worrying.

"Will it not peck me on my eyes? I will go blind! Should I touch it? I don't want to touch it! It might die. I once had a goldfish, my father told me not to touch it but I did and it died. It died!"

"Don't shout!" Chong shouted at Dayu.

Qing hit the bodyguard's sidearm, "Don't shout at him!" The Prince shouts at Chong.

"Stop shouting at each other!" Dayu shouted at them. "You are both stressing me out!"

Then they started arguing with each other.

I am so right. I am still the sanest one in all of us.

"STOP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs I think the room vibrated for a bit. They all stopped. "Dayu, my Consort," I walked to Dayu. I held his shoulders then push him to Qing who steadied Dayu in surprise. "Hug your Prince and calm the fuck down. Qing, hug your Consort, whisper sweet nothings to his ear, kiss him, fondle him, have a full make out session here, I don't care. Calm him down before he start having a breakdown. Calm him down before I ask for a stun gun on the zoo operator to calm him myself."

Dayu whimpered and burrowed into Qing's body. "Wang Qing, Lao is scary..." he whined to the Prince.

"It's okay Dayu," the Prince console his Consort. "I will never let him hurt you," then he started whispering things to Dayu that made the Consort flushed shyly.

While they are whispering, probably gross things to each other, Chong stood in front of them to hide the couple from me. "You cannot hurt my Consort," he said while crossing his arms on his chest.

Now, I am the villain. I cannot believe them, they...

"Happy place, Lao! Go to your happy place," I took deep breathes and imagine my happy place away from these three lunatics.

But my tactic works and by the time the organizers called us Dayu is mainly calm and smiling like an idiot to my Crown Prince. Qing is returning those looks, sigh, totally in love with his Consort. 

In short, everything is back to normal.

So what went wrong?

While Qing is being interviewed, Dayu was invited by one zoo personnel to go around the zoo to see the animals they have that is safe for the children to interact with.