American Rant

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Director: Shoot!

Orc: We ain't had nothing but magety bread for three stinkin days!

Me: Well i told you top bring the Lembas, cause it doesn't rot but noooo you HAD to bring the white bread! AMERICAN FOOD NEVER LASTS!!!!!

Orc: *stares*

Director: *stares*

Orlando: oh boy

Me: .....Well i guess McDonalds lasts, but...THERE IS SOMTHING WRONG WITH THAT FOOD!!!!! YOU KNOW WHY EVERYONE IS GETTING CANCER?!?!?!?!?!?!? I BET THOSE MCDONALD CHICKEN NUGGETS ARE RADIOACTIVE!!!!!!!!

Orc: *stares*

Director: *stares*

Orlando....Someone help me

Me: NOT TO MENTION THE FRIES!!!!! DO  YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SODIUM IS ON THOSE!!!! AMERICANS ARE ALWAYS GETTING HEART ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!! IT IS MCDONALD'S FAULT FOR AMERICA'S ILLNESSES!!!!!!

Orc: *stares*

Director: *stares*

Orlando: ...you need help

Me: I KNOW!!!! MY COUNTRY NEEDS HELP!!!! ORLANDO, TALK TO YOUR DADDY ABOUT THE IMPORTATION OF LEMBAS AND VEGGIES!!!!!!

Orlando: ...uuhhh

Me: YOU HEARD ME!!!! CHOP ! CHOP! GO TO THRANDUIL!!!! GO ON!!!!!

Orlando: *stares* I, uh, um, uh.

ME: GO!!!! AMERICA IS FADING!!!!!

Orlando: ....

Me: SCRAM!!!!!!

Orlando: .....

Me: GO!!! GET YOUR LITTLE PONY AND RIDE TO MIRKWOOD!!!!!

Orlando:....

Me: AND DON'T BREAK A RIB THIS TIME!!!!

Orlando:......well

Me: GO NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!!!!!

Orlando:..What? ARe you going all Smeagol on me?

Me: YES!!!! THE INNER SMEAGOL WILL COME OUT IF YOU DONT GO!!!!!!

Orlando: ....okay, im going. *lumbers to door*

Me: HURRY!!!

Orlando: okay, okay..sheesh! 

This next part has been added by @sparkly_shadowhunter

Orlano: *doesn't move any faster*

Me: I SAID HURRY!!!!!!!

Orlando: don't rush perfection

Orc: I wouldn't call that perfection...

Me: *death stares orc....attacks orc*

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