Never Forever

No More Dream

After seven months together, the honeymoon phase began to rub off and more argument began to appear. He's constantly upset because I won't tell him certain things about me and im afraid of him judging me. What if we broke up and he decided to exploit my secrets to the world? What would I do then?

Jail is not an option because I have an education to pursue.. Neither is telling him it's over because I don't wanna let go..

~

I pushed his hands away.

"Don't.. Don't do that.."
"Do what, babe?" His fingers grazing my face and running over my lips, wanting to enter with tongue or kiss (finger).
"Don't call me names or touch me. Your time to look after my house is over. And I'll pay you back for every dime."
"No. Don't."
"Ho-seok, let me pay you back."
"Only if.." he paused.
"Only if what?"
"There is only one way that you could possibly pay me back.. It's by staying with me forever.." My eyes widened as he came closer to better grasp my face. "Only if.. You marry me."
"No.." I just barely said but it seemed as if he hadn't heard me.
"This house could be ours together and we could have the family you wanted together. My dream is your dream."
"Ho-seok, no. No!" He paused as I grabbed his hands to take them away from my face. "I don't want a family.. At least not with you.."
"Stop lying. This is what you wanted most. It what I want too.. More than anything.." his hand brushed the side of my face. "Please, marry me.."
I looked down, crossing my arms and shook my head. "No. I said married by 20. Not at 20."
"I proposed many times before you left."
"You liar!"
"No. You chose not to open the box. You chose to run away. But what do I do? I have always chose and always will choose to love you."
"I'm outta here." I said and attempted to leave.
"But please. Leona.. You cannot run away forever.."
"Let go of me."
"I've already gotten the ring." He opened the box and I looked at it. It was perfect. Simple, yet made with love. He had listened to my descriptions of what I wanted in a ring if I were to get married.

The heart shaped Emerald with our birthstones to make the crown over the heart, all wrapped around in sterling silver. I never did like gold jewelry because I hate the color yellow.

My tears were shallow, but the pain was great. "I'm sorry." I shook my head as I tried once more to leave but I couldn't find the knob over the blurrieness of my tears or the darkness that soon followed. There was no use in trying to escape this one, so I just didn't try.. I let him hold me and rub my back.

After a while, he began to speak to me. "Baby.. Baby, I know you love me. And I know that it's so much more than I Love You, but please don't do this to yourself. To us." He took a seat on the bed and held me close. "I want to be able to wake up next to you in the morning, make you breakfast, have the kids laughing and crying with us at times and.. Have that farm that you So desperately wanted. But do you want to know what I want most?" My eyes looked up at his dark and blurry figure. "I want to have the security of knowing that I am the only man you'll ever love again. I want to be the one that makes you feel a certain way at times, the only one wiping your tears, kissing you goodnight and giving you the physical security of knowing that we belong to each other."

"Stop it!" I screamed, pushing him away. "Stop making me cry!" I took a moment to wipe my eyes. "Are you blind? Why don't you see me? You see nothing but good all the time, even when it's staring you in the face! Don't you realise that I don't.. That I.." I couldn't bring myself to say it and groaned, hitting the door. "Don't you see anything bad in me? Why do I have to leave you just to try and make you stop loving me, but fail and only come back to you loving me more? Huh?" I covered my face with my hands. "Look, I know I sound stupid but-"
"Baby? You don't sound st-"
"SHUT UP!" My tears began to pour harder as I began to realise how I couldn't breathe. "Ugh! I hate crying. Especially in front of you." I took a deep breath through my lips. "I can't even do this right.. Whatever. I just know that I can't keep doing this to you. So.. We're done." I opened the door. "Goodbye Hoseok."

Everything went silent. And for a moment, I could almost hear my heart crack while his shattered. "Take the ring with you." I heard him. I heard his tears. I just could not see them.
"I made it myself. Just like you wanted."
"Get a refund."
"No." He shook his head. "I could never take this back."

I heard his frame move closer. And closer still, until finally, it all stopped and..

His lips dissolved in mine.

"I don't wanna hide our feelings anymore."

"I was never asking you too. I was only asking to stop."

"Baby.." he failed at trying to touch my face.

"No, Hoseok. Go."

~

But it is now..