Conversations with God (Book 1 of With God Trilogy)

February 18, 2018

I miss dad. But I know I have to wait if not find him. Oh I'm really tempted by mom's food. Sorry dad! But don't worry. I'm coming to find you again.

So, I am now packing my valuables. I packed more right now. I brought my whole backpack for travelling. Especially the most important things to bring like cellphone and charger, snacks and water, wallet, and of course my headphones and my diary.

My mom knew it. I don't know how but maybe because she saw my fixing my things last night.

"Janice, honey, let us go to church first!" mom said in an eagerly way.

"Okay, mom but after that, you'll let me go on my own." I said it straight.

"You do not know how dangerous it is outside. Are you sure?" mom asked. I know that she doesn't want to let me go. I nodded yes. "Okay, but you have to go with Riley." She said confidently.

Mom knows that I'm safe with my cousin. And Riley who is expert in directions and places. She loves to go to places and sometimes without Aunt Helena's permission. But at this time, mom made sure that aunt knows where we are going.

After the church service, I was confident to go on because of the verse today:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:34

I do not have to worry because God is with me. I do not have to worry because Riley is with me.

"Wait, you two! Don't you want to go for a meal first?" Aunt Helena asked.

"No, auntie! I have my sandwiches for us two!" I answered showing my bag.

'That's great, Janice!" Riley exclaimed.

Now it is up to us to find dad!

Hmmmm where could he be? I look like Dora the Explorer right now. Riley asked if it's okay for us to ask the pastors in our church. I told her that mom asked them already and they said that they have seen him last Friday in the doorstep. So, I am sure that he is just near.

After the search, the walk, the search, the walk, Riley sat down and said, "Do you still have sandwiches?" I sat too and gave her the second to the last piece. "I'm sorry if I'm really hungry today."

It is okay. At least she is with me. She suddenly spoke while chewing which I cannot understand. "What?" I said. "Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I just want to ask you a question without really uhh offending you." Riley said slowly. "Sure, what is it?" I answered.

"Why are you so sure about this? I mean all these. I heard from my mom that you went out too yesterday. Don't you think he will come back?" she asked me a question which I expected. "You know, Riley, I know that it is hard to understand but I have not seen them like this. This is the first time I saw the plates, broken plates on the floor, receipts and bills flying. I just want to talk to dad privately. I mean, you know, without mom." I explained.

She looked satisfied with my answer and she told me to stay where I'm at. "Wait there! I need to go!" She meant going to the comfort room.

While waiting for her, I wore my headphones.

Me: God, that is the question I want to ask you too.

God: What is that?

Me: The same question Riley asked. Why am I so sure? How am I sure that dad is really just within reach?

Before the question was answered, a guy was looking at me. He was beside me. His look was not just an ordinary look but a stare. I was so scared that I stood up.

Oh gosh, he got my bag! He got my bag! I was running towards him! I need to catch him but I cannot anymore! My legs were shaking. I really do not know where I am. In this time, my heart was beating so fast, my legs were shaking, my head was confused. I sat down to the nearest bench I could find then I realized that I was in a park. But different from Riley and I used to stay. All my stuff, my cellphone, my wallet, and food and water, yeah. They were gone!

I just thank the Lord that I was not hurt and I still have my diary and wearing my headphones!

However, I cannot lie about what I feel. I feel lost. I feel confused. I feel no where to go.

I called on to God, "Lord, please, help me!"

Then, I heard a voice say, ""Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." – Mathhew 11:28

I heard it softly as I lay down. My body just wants to rest. My eyes just wants to close.