Darker Than Love | ꪜ

Darker Than Love | 15

Michelle's POV

I've isolated myself in my room. I knew that my father did something he'd regret soon enough. He released the person I dreaded the most. The vindictive and unruly person I was when I dated Kaleb. I was so pissed off at Mason when I found out he was a juvenile delinquent because I thought that he'd make me relapse into the person I was.

But my father did that.

I wouldn't leave my room for the past week. Despite my mother begging me to let her in, despite her leaving food at my door and pleading with me to eat up. . .I haven't left.

The only things I've been eating for the past week were nutrition bars and chocolate. The griping of my stomach was the only thing that motivated me to eat.

I've snuck out of my room in the middle of the night to get a snack, I've even been caught by Mason a few times but we've never spoken since that day.

The day he found me having a mental breakdown after I destroyed my entire room. He managed to calm me down and talk me out of my rampage state. But yet still I couldn't find it in me to accept him.

From what I've heard over the week, Mason's still dating Kayla and now he's on the football team. That's to show you how much of an ass he is and why I can't stand being in the same room as him.

Other than the whole Mason thing, I haven't spoken to Brandon at all, well I mean since I practically smashed my phone with a bat. He might think his girlfriend of one day already ditched him.

Now I feel terrible.

I slumped down onto the floor and groaned when my boobs began aching from the hard impact I inflicted on myself. I pushed myself off the floor using my hands and swayed left to right, my head feeling dizzy and my stomach griping, begging me for food and not the piece of shit I've been eating lately.

I walked into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. Touching the spot on my face where a week ago my father's hand imprinted.

Without thinking twice about what I'm about to do, I grabbed a pair of scissors from the medicine cabinet and stared down at it with teary eyes.

For the past few days, all I've been doing is crying and yet still my tear ducts won't run dry because there are a thousand things that I can think of which would send me into a crying fit.

I raised the scissors and gripped a handful of my hair and began to chop away at my hair.

I watched my hair fall to the floor in chunks and I immediately thought of my life and how it was falling apart- much like my life.

When I was done I placed the scissors in the sink and stared blankly at my shoulder-length hair.

Despite all the rage I had boiling up in me as I chopped it in chunks, I still managed to make myself look human.

I removed my clothes and slipped into the shower.

Whenever I felt like I was falling apart I'd make myself feel the icy water freeze the insides of my body.

Because I have no more space to feel pain, no more space to go crazy over something that's irrelevant but at the same time relevant in my life. I could feel my bones aching and screaming, pleading with me to make the freezing stop, but I won't.