Some Nights

Hello, Cruel World

*This story takes place during the events of first two episodes of season seven, mainly episode two. Sam lies to Dean about his hallucinations, choosing to keep quiet.  But while they are summoning Death to kill God!Cas, Death mentions Sam's hallucinations much to the surprise of Bobby and Dean.*

caution: more emotional than usual, my apologies. use of the wooden spoon  ;)

"It means I'm having a difficult time figuring out what's real."

"Hallucinations?"

"For starters."

"Well for starters, if you were tripping hells bells, why would you hide that?"

"I wasn't hiding it, Dean. I was just not talking about it. I mean, it seemed like you two had enough going on as it was. I just figured try to hold on to the safety bar and ride it out. But it's getting more specific."

"More specifically what?"

From Season Seven, Episode 2 "Hello, Cruel World"

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And my blood has been bled in the places where it needed to bleed 
And my head, torn apart 
And my soul is just begging to breathe 

Dean stared at his little brother sitting in the chair, looking down at his hands. He looked broken, and afraid. Dean's heart was breaking into pieces. How in the world could he protect Sammy from his own mind? It wasn't possible. If Sam was seeing the devil everywhere he went, how was he even functioning right now? Dean took in a deep breath, and glanced at Bobby. What the hell did they do now?

"I'm going back to work." Bobby said quietly, and left the room.

Sam looked up at Dean, a question in his eyes. Dean met his gaze evenly, even though he had no idea what to do. He knew what they both were expecting. Sam had lied straight to Bobby and Dean. That was major offense, and it needed to be dealt with. But how could Dean punish Sam when Sam was already so broken? But what if it was what Sam needed the most right now? A firm hand, and the knowledge that even though the world around his was crumbling, Dean would always be there for him.

"Dean?" Sam asked. His eyes were still a bit wet, and he kept glancing over to the corner where the devil was lurking in his mind.

Dean closed his eyes for a moment. "Go on upstairs."

Sam bit his lip, looking like he wanted to say something, anything but he stood up and walked slowly to the steps. There he paused, looking as if he were listening to something, but then shook his head and headed up the stairs. Dean heard the bedroom door open, and the creaking of the bed frame as his brother sat down.

"Oh god. Okay." Dean blinked back the tears that suddenly filled his eyes. He missed Ben and Lisa, their smiles, their laughs. He didn't know how he was supposed to keep going. And Cas...Dean wiped his face. That stupid son of a bitch angel who wanted to help the world so much that he became God. He missed Cas so fiercely that his heart ached with things left unsaid, and undone.

But Sammy needed him right now. Needed him to be the brother than he could count on, even with the unpleasant things. Dean strode into the kitchen, and pulled open the drawer, looking for a implement to use on Sam's backside. He dug through a few possible options, but then stopped as he pulled out a thick wooden spoon. After all his brother had been through in the past couple of days, he really didn't need a spanking that would last weeks. It was more of a reminder.

Dean walked over to the stairs and looked up, wondering what was going on in his brother's head right now. Was he hallucinating? Panicking? Did he even fully know what was going on? He started up the stairs, hand gripping on to the spoon, and telling himself this is what they both needed. Normalcy for once.