Some Nights

Ready Or Not

caution: contains spanking

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As an angel, Castiel never had to worry about the weight of things. He actually never really worried much at all. Being superior being gave you the right to look down on things that didn't really suit your level. It seemed so easy back then to just walk away. But he made a choice that affected everything he knew and loved. The choice had been Heaven or Earth, and he chose Earth, mainly those who occupied Earth, humans. Mainly two humans in particular, Sam and Dean Winchester.

Now years later, as a human, Cas could feel the complete weight of things. The weight of his wet, muddy clothes, his head covered in dirt and grim felt like a million pounds. The weight of a man's eyes, staring at him as Cas slowly stripped from his clothes, shivering as the shock was beginning to wear off. Also, the weight of his emotions, throbbing from inside his chest. He swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears. It had been a part of humanity he wasn't ready for, the liquid that streamed from your eyes whenever you were happy or sad, or angry. Sometimes Cas just let it happen, usually in the privacy of his own room, but right now his room seemed so far away.

"In."

Cas turned his head, realizing he had stopped moving. Dean was watching him, his expression unreadable. Cas looked to where the hunter was pointing, and his feet began to move on their own accord as if they had a mind of their own.

"Dean..." It was Sam's voice now. "Can we at least talk about it?"

"No." Came the instant reply.

Cas stepped into the shower, wondering if he was supposed to understand what the brothers were talking about or not. At this point, he realized he didn't care. His shoulders felt heavy, even without anything resting on them. He was completely naked, and still felt like he was being pressed into the ground by an unseen hand.

"It's my fault too!" 

Sam's voice was fading out, but even still Cas could tell he was upset. By the events of the night no doubt. Dean had to be furious with them, with both of them at this point, but strangely the older brother wasn't yelling or shouting. Cas had expected it the whole drive to the bunker, but there had been no explosion, just silent driving. He wasn't sure which was worse.

The water came down on him unexpectedly, rattling him to the core. He tried to step back, but a firm hand kept him in place. The shock of it had his eyes stinging with tears, but oddly enough, knowing that Dean was right behind him was comforting in a way Cas couldn't explain. He bowed his head under the spray, letting the water pressure clean away the dirty mess in his hair.

Cas allowed Dean to scrub him down, since the other man seemed intent on not letting him out of his sight. It was curious though as he could see Dean's movements, the bar of soap making trails up and down his skin, the tiny bubbles covering him, but he couldn't feel the movements. It was as if he were watching it on film. It was obviously happening, but Cas's entire body was numb. What was more, the heavy feeling was growing more and more stronger. He barely felt he could hold his head up for much longer, his legs starting to buckle from the weight of himself.

There was barely a sound when he used the rest of his strength to turn himself around, and leaned his heavy, heavy head on Dean's chest.