Some Nights

I Belong To You

caution: contains the multiple spankings of Sam Winchester, and Castiel. One instance of strong language. also: trigger warning for cliff scene(he's not trying to kill himself, but Dean assumes that he is)

"I know it's hard to admit it that you found love,

It's hard to stay in it, but he's better

Than anyone I've seen you with before."

****

The upper deck on the beach house was quiet except for the sound of waves crashing on the shore. Despite the darkness, the ocean seemed illuminated by the sky as Cas looked on, gripping the rail. It was chilly, the wind was whipping his hair, but he didn't want to go back inside to grab a sweater. His head was pounding, and his hands were shaking, the anxiety that had been building up ever since the long car ride to beach house finally overtaking him at four a.m in morning.

In four days, his brother, Gabriel was going to marry a human. Not just any human, but Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood, the abomination that let Lucifer out of the cage. Cas took in a deep breath. They had all been wrong about Sam, the angels. Sam chose the right path every time, cleaning up his messes, dealing with the consequences. He was a hero, and deserved to be happy.

Now I'm the abomination...

The sliding door behind him rumbled as it slowly opened and then closed. Cas didn't need to look behind him to see who it was. He could sense it, like electricity sparks traveling through the air. Their hair would be rumpled from the pillow, green eyes sleepy but still full of mischief, especially if they would roll over on top of Cas in the morning and start kissing...but that was a long time ago.

Dean Winchester.

Cas swallowed hard, not looking at him, fixing his eyes out to sea. The sensations were getting worse though, his hands were numb from the dull panic, his arms felt like needles were pricking him over and over again, and his head wouldn't stop hurting. The little symptoms that started building as the day had passed, finally exploding into a full on attack. And now freaking Dean Winchester was here to save the day, like always.

He's not yours anymore.

"Hey, you okay?" Dean's voice was hoarse from sleep, but he sounded calm.

Cas realized too late that he was already responding to the familiar tone, turning to look at him, and then wishing he hadn't. Dean was shirtless and decked in his black shorts, skin shining in the moonlight. It felt as if a bolt of lightning went completely through Cas as he quickly turned away, glad the dark was hiding the color of his cheeks.

"Fine." He managed numbly.

He felt Dean hesitate, before taking another step forward, and he wanted to crumple into pieces. This was what their relationship developed into. Tiptoeing around each other, simple questions and one word answers, mostly on Cas's part. He didn't know what else to do. How did you fix a broken heart?

"Why don't I believe that?" Dean said, little humor in his tone.

Once a liar, always a liar.

Cas took in a deep breath. "I don't know."

"Hey." Dean sounded concerned now, and Cas closed his eyes against the rising emotion in his chest. "You were pretty quiet today in the car. Something bothering you?"