LUCY
I couldn't find the ladies....must've raced past it in my fugue. Discovered a unisex disabled toilet instead, tucked into a corner near the stairwell.
Locking the door behind me I stop dead in the middle of the tiled floor between the toilet and washbasin. Hugging myself and shaking like a leaf. Praying the dam will finally burst after all these months and give me some relief.
Even if it's only a tiny little leak? Pleeeease?
If it doesn't, and soon? I think....know....I'm just going to implode under the immense pressure of emptiness engulfing me. Become a black hole and the nothingness will stay forever.
***
I didn't cry when that loathsome thief called Alzheimer's climbed into his head two years ago. Took him away before any of us fully realised or came to grips with it.
Stole my Daddy, then cruelly gave him back to us on occasion. Brief minutes before he was taken hostage once more. An hour or so if we were really lucky.
And I didn't cry when I went home for my monthly visit. When Mummy finally fessed up about her bowel cancer. Far too advanced now for anyone to do anything....but wait.
This time, I didn't leave. My old bedroom became my haven once more.
I had to be the strong one, that was my job. Be strong....and not allow anything to get me or them down. Love them....
Keep my chin up so they won't feel sad. Get them through another day, then another. Love them....
Look after them. Take care of them both just as they did for me while I was growing up. Love them....
And that's just what I did for the last....their final six months. I loved them.
Only it wasn't a job. And from the beginning to the end it never was. It's just....it's just what you do!
When you love someone and you love them more than anything in the world? That kind of love is never a labour.
If you'd asked me? If I had the hindsight of all the terror, pain, sadness, fear, loneliness and heartbreak....
....would I have still done it?
Stayed home. Loving and caring for them day and night?
Even after Mum demanded that I put her in a hospice, place Dad in a full-time care facility. So I can live my own life instead of watching theirs end?
The only order of hers I ever dared to disobey in my entire life. And I think that deep down, Mummy was secretly glad that I did.
How could I ever do that? Send them off to die amongst strangers. I'd never be able to forgive or even live with myself afterwards....never!
Dylan had said it. At the airport when I left Australia. Even though I'll forever wish it never had to be in the first place?
In a heartbeat....I'll do it all again in a heartbeat. Forever. For them.
Mum died on the Monday in the early evening.
LaLa arrived home a few days before. We took turns staying with her in her bedroom and were both at her side at the end.
It wasn't....peaceful.
I had to tell Dad even though he was lost in his own little world by then.
Yet something must've got through. My words, maybe the utter loss and misery in my voice that I tried to hide from him? The goodnight cuddle that we did. Same as every other night....me holding him until he fell asleep?
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The Odd Couple - A Norman Reedus Fanfic Romance
FanfictionSemi-mature. Completed. He thought his latest deal was the best yet. A new home. But it came at a price. A house mate was certainly not part of the bargain. Will this be a match made in heaven? Or hell? If anyone is interested, I have a semi-mature...
