Chapter 16 - It's Like Deja Vu....All Over Again

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LUCY

"Luce....are you awake?"

I hear the hope in his whispering, shaky voice. And although there are no lights on, I can see his silhouette in the doorway.

It appears that the talk we were to have in the morning? Is going down now.

"Lu?"  Now it's a whisper full of anguish?

The door is on the verge of closing when I murmur back....

"I'm awake."

It opens again. Enough for him to slip in....before it clicks shut. After a few seconds, I feel the bedclothes sliding back. Then the mattress dips as his weight slowly falls.

He slid up behind me and I held myself stiffly. As his arm went around my waist, pulling himself in close. Until I'm cradled against him.

Norman tucked his chin in my neck and rested his head against mine. I smell the faint trace of cigarette on his breath....along with his own intoxicating scent.

We stay like that for long minutes and the only sound in the room is our breathing. My body gives up its tenseness of the last few hours then gradually relaxes against his. Despite my best efforts.

Traitor!

"I've never been so ashamed of myself in my whole life. I'm begging you, sweetheart....please forgive me. I'm so fucking sorry"  His lips moved against my cheek.

His other arm slid underneath my body, clasping me even tighter to him.

"Things happened in the last couple of days but I'm not going to use them as excuses. All I saw was Mingus, beyond upset after talking to you. Then I went in and lost it completely. Didn't give you the chance to explain, even though you tried."

"My son would've been entirely on his own if it wasn't for you, Lucy. With no way to get hold of me. You cared for him, kept him safe."

"Oh fuck! When I think of all the things that could've happened to him? If you weren't....Oh fuck"  His voice cracked and the fear it held was breaking me in two.

Norman's head lifted from mine when he felt me move. I roll over in his arms and wrap mine around him, bringing his head to my chest. Rubbing my hand up and down his back to try and calm him down.

Soothe his panic.

"Shhhh. It's Ok. Ming's Ok....nothing happened. He's alright and it's over now. You needn't be scared anymore."

Slowly he settled. And when his shakes subsided entirely? Only then do I speak again.

"You apologised and I know you're sincere. Thank you for saying it. And Mingus is safe, happy....now that you're back home."

I pause before I carry on.

Because I need to gather all the strength I have left. To tell him, that I'll do what he wants. Have to get in first....because I don't ever want to hear him say it again.

"So, if you can maybe....take him out for a little while tomorrow? I'll pack up and leave while you're both gone. I think that'll be the best way to do it, don't you? If I just....just disappear quietly."

"Then you can both carry on with your lives together in peace. As if the last two and a bit weeks never happened. Get me out of your hair and home, eh? Once and for all."

Norman's gasp of shock was loud in the quietness of the room and his head flew up.

"Lu....Jeezus....fuck no! You can't!  I know what I said, but I was so beyond wrong to say it. The words just came out because I was angry. Pissed at you when you did nothing to deserve it. I don't want you to go. You can't leave....please? "

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