SM Imagines

Can't Force Love

Y/n
Shawn collapsed beside me on to the white sheets, we both try to catch our breath from the events that just happened.

He grabs the duvet and brings it up over our bare bodies and he turns to face me bringing his arm over my waist and entangling our legs. I turn and look at him, his handsome face, his pink cheeks, messy hair and swollen lips.
I bring my hand up rest it on his jaw and he pulls me closer so our bare chests are touching under the duvet.

"That was fun" he whispers against my lips and places a sweet kiss on my lips.
"It always is" I giggle and kiss him back this time with more force, he swipes my bottom lip with his tongue and I moan which gives him full access.

I pull back and kiss the side of his lips and down his jaw when his strong hand stops me and pulls my face up. "No marks remember,I need to be somewhere tomorrow" he says
"But Shawn you left marks on me" I groan
"Because you're mine" his lips fall on mine again but only for a short while.

"Uh what time is it?" I ask him. He leans over me and clicks his phone "it's 3 am" he replies.
"Oh I stayed for that long, I got here at 11" I say and I remove Shawn's arm from my waist and move the white sheets, I sit on the edge of the bed about to get up when Shawn pulls me back. "Where are you going?" He asks and leaves small kisses on my shoulder. "I'm going now" I reply and I'm glad he can't see the sadness on my face.

This isn't new, he calls I come over we have sex then I leave and no feelings. But I can't help but get lost in his eyes, I can't help but love the feel of his soft hair, his smooth skin on mine. I've fallen in love and it's wrong.

"Stay the night, please" he places his hands on my shoulders and squeezes I lean my head back and his lips attach to the skin of my neck. He sucks on a spot then blows cool air on to it. "Shawn stop, I'm going now" I quickly get up and put my underwear back on. He gets up pulling his boxers up and stands in front of me. "Come on its late, don't go".

"Don't worry I've done this before" the bitterness in my voice is heard and he stands back a little. "Please just hold me for tonight" he begs and I don't dare look in his eyes or I'll fall for him again harder. "I can't" I say and I go to pick up my top and slide it over my head. "Why, why can't you stay?" He softly says.

I sigh and look up at him, my nose brushes against his cheek, my lips graze his skin and I take a deep breath inhaling his scent. "It's too hard to stay" I whisper against his ear. I've become weak and my arms wrap around his neck and I nuzzle in to the crook of his neck.

"I don't understand" Shawn says and I loosen my grip but keep my arms around him so my hands can feel his hair. "Shawn this thing whatever it is, it's becoming hard for me, I just can't" I say and tears fall down my cheeks. He brings his hand up and wipes my tears with his thumb. "But this is great, me and you" he whispers "don't cry please just stay, let me hold you, let me sleep beside you". I let go of him and wipe my face with the sleeve of my top I bend down and grab my jeans sliding them on. "I can't Shawn it's wrong" i bite my lip and look down at the floor.

"Why is this so wrong?" He questions I look up and see his eye brows furrowed and his eyes watch me carefully. I swallow and clear my throat.

"Because I love you" tears keep running down my face now and I know I shouldn't have said anything but I can't contain this any longer. I move back and grab my shoes and slip them on quickly. I look to see Shawn frozen, his eyes look sad and he looks guilty. "I'm sorry Shawn I shouldn't have said that but this had been going on for so long and you knew how I felt" I say quickly before at tears fall again.

"I'm sorry" Shawn says slowly and makes his way towards me again and he cups my face. I look in to his eyes and can't help myself but to cry more and loud sob escape my mouth.
"You don't have to apologise, it's just me I was stupid" I say.
"I want you to stay" he says sounding sure of himself. I put my hands on his and remove him from my face and I hold his hands.

"I can't stay this is hurting me" i just about whisper, I pull him close and rest my head on his chest and he puts his hands on my head running through my hair. "I just need you" He lets out and breathes loudly. "I love you Shawn but you don't love me" I say gently and pull back.

"I do, you know I do" his eyes begin to water and I can't see him break down it will only make it hurt more. "Say it then" I move closer "Say you love me" I say a little louder but he doesn't respond he just puts his hands on my waist and squeezes gently. "I can't, you know I do but I can't" tears begin to form in his now dark eyes and it breaks my heart.

I put my hand on his face and rub my thumb on his cheek. "It's okay Shawn, you don't love me and that's okay, you can't force love" I say and he pulls me in and kisses me with force. I put my hands on his chest and push him back slightly as he won't let his strong grip down.
"Shawn stop, you don't have to do this" I step back from him.
"But I want you to stay, I need you" He begs.

"Just say it then and I'm yours" I say and look directly in to his eyes. "Dam it I can't, I'm not ready" he raises his voice and runs his fingers through his hair. "It's okay Shawn, we weren't supposed to fall in love, I'm just too weak and you don't have to force yourself to love me" I sigh, I take my bag from the side and put it on my shoulder. I go to open the door and he calls my name "I will one day, I'll say it"

"I'll be waiting" I look back and see him crying.
"You'll wait for me?" He questions
"Of course but you have to let me go right now, I'm just hurting more" I tell him.
"I'm sorry"
"Shawn it's okay you can't force feelings" I turn back and walk out of his apartment and go down the stairs as quickly as I can, I reach the bottom and stand up against a wall and I begin sobbing. I've truly lost him even though he was never mine.
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