SM Imagines

Because i love you

He left, late at nights, early mornings even with the smallest fights he was the one to close the door and leave her crying.

Today was different. Today he stayed but he kept pushing her, wanting her to break but his mind ran wild why is he doing this to the girl he loves.

"Shawn please calm down" she whimpers, walking towards him.

"No this is always about you, I come home and you cry over something small them make me apologise" he shouts louder than he excepted, his drunken mind making the words roll of his tongue.

He throws the glass at the wall and it forces it to smash in to a million a pieces and she flinches and looks up in fear, looking at the man she loves and still does despite his behaviour she forgives him, she loves him to the bone, seeing him as an angel.

"Please, just stop. Let's sit and talk, talk about anything you want, I promise I won't speak I'll just listen. Okay?" Her voice is gentle and it makes Shawn snap. He grabs her hand and they walk towards the sofa and he places her on his lap.

She leans in to his chest feeling his heart beating fast and his breath beginning to slow down as she rubs his chest. He squeezes her waist and rests his chin at the top of her head and calms down.

"Shawn you scare you sometimes" she admits and his face drops.

"Do I?" He questions and begins to think of everything he does to make her unhappy but he's almost too drunk to function.

"Yes Shawn, you shout at me for nothing and throw things and it scares me, how can you be so loving at times but then want to get rid of me at the same time?"

"I just, i don't know there's something inside me, I don't want to see you in pain but I'm always the one to cause it" he huffs and removes his arms from her and she looks up at him.

"I don't want you to leave me but I can't let you stay" he mumbles, she becomes filled with fear and confusion.

"Shawn you're not making sense" her hand reaches up to his face and she cradled his jaw in her hand.

"No stop it, don't love me. Please just stop. I know what I'm doing, I know I leave and yes I come back because I love you but I hurt you and I make you cry"

"Shawn please stop, stop this, you're making me sad by saying this, baby please don't" she whimpers, his eyes filled with tears yet they don't fall where as she's not afraid to cry and this scares Shawn.

He's seen her face when she's scared of him, heard the painful cry's after he shouts at her and he feels the pain she feels after he breaks her heart but she keeps coming back to him. Back in to his arms where she feels the most safe despite what he said the night before. It's crazy but she loves him more than she loves herself and Shawn treasures her but makes her feel the heartache.

"Please, leave me. Not for you but for me. This is so selfish of me I'm telling you to leave but I can't break your heart for the last time. Please make it easier for me, you walk out and forget me, find someone new, someone who won't hurt you" Shawn says and makes her cry louder.

"Shawn I love you"

"I love you but please because I love you I need you to leave and if you love me you'll leave" he says, she wipes her face with her sleeve and sniffles.

"Shawn you understand what your making me do right. You're asking me to leave you when you're the one I love and I never will stop loving you and you're asking me to leave. If you love me so much you'll let me stay and we can work through this and I promise it will get better but please I don't want to leave" he listens to her soothing voice and he breaks. Crying out and leaning in to her arms where she instantly holds him and tells him it will be alright.

His face is huddled in her chest and she strokes his hair trying to soothe him just like before. She lifts his face up and presses a gentle kiss on his forehead and he shuts his eyes tightly feeling her touch on his skin.

"Shawn I'm not going. I don't know exactly what's going on but I'm staying because I love you Okay" she says and he nods.

They hold each other all night not knowing what will happen after this but they stay wrapped between each other's embrace and both of them don't dare to let go.