Star Crossed

Chapter Twenty Four- We're fire and ice

The majority of students had once again boarded the Hogwarts Express to head home for the holidays, it has hard to believe that another year had already gone by. Lazarus had avoided all three of us like we had the plague since Slughorn's Christmas party, he had only arrived back in class two days later (probably recovering from a tremendous hang over) and even then he had completely ignored me, even when I tried to engage him in conversation, his cheeks just flushed deeply as he tried desperately to look anywhere but at me. I had managed to get a loose hug and a brief 'enjoy your holidays' before he quickly drew back and hurried off towards the carriages that led down to Hogsmeade station, I hated not talking to him he was one of my best friends and it was as if I had completely lost him, I was hoping that time would heal all wounds by the time he came back after the break.

Tom had also been distant, choosing to spend a lot of time with his 'employees', a name for them that I had seemed to have adopted now. Christmas came and went, I had attended the Christmas feast expecting to meet Riddle there but he hadn't attended. When I asked Slughorn if he knew where Tom was he just gave me a sad speal about hoe he had caught the winter flew 'poor boy', although I had seen the 'poor boy' briefly in the library just the previous day looking very well, I resented the fact that he had abandoned me to spend the day on my own. Wiglaf and Lazarus had both sent me a greetings card and gift, I was happy that Lazarus did not feel too ashamed to exchange gifts and greetings with us at least. Tom however once again had not bothered to send me (or any of us I presumed) so much of a card, I had felt that familiar sinking feeling when I did not recognise his cursive neat writing upon any of the little of envelopes upon my bed that morning, I had also not received so much as a letter from my Father either. 
Feeling sorry for myself I decided to head to the Room of Requirement to spend Boxing Day, I could at least use my time alone wisely and read up on next terms lessons. As I entered the room I realised that I was not alone, I froze as Tom stood in the center of the room his wand outstretched with his back to me. He was so focused on what it was that he was doing that had not heard me come in or even sensed my presence in the room. I stayed perfectly still, trying to keep my breathing as silent as I could. 
'Expecto Patronum,' he muttered, but no patronus burst forth from his wand. I resisted the urge to audibly gasp, I hadn't thought there had been a spell invented that Tom could not instantly master, yet having superior magical ability was not enough in this instance, I felt a pang of pity as I understood why it was he was finding this so difficult. He growled in frustration and kicked the nearby leather armchair, running a hand through his usually pristine hair and ruffling it. 
"You're doing it wrong," I whispered. Tom instantly spun around, his face displaying a fleeting look of shock before it turned swiftly to anger,
"And you are spying on people again McLaggen," He hissed, he looked tired. 
"Well forgive me for coming to the room and not having the powers to foresee that you would be here and would have wanted to remain alone," I replied, folding my arms, "But as I said, you are doing it wrong." I repeated, walking over to wear he stood, his face looked thunderous. 
"Expecto Patronum," I cast my wand and bright white fully grown lion burst forth from my wand and padded around the room, Tom's blue eyes followed it, a hungry look in his eyes. 
"How?" He stated, "How can you have mastered this and I have not," he spoke more to himself than to me as he stared at the lion now lying lazily in front of him. 
"Because I am using something that you are not," I replied softly, 
"And what might that be?" Tom asked through his gritted teeth,
"My greatest memories," I replied,
"I know how a patronus works McLaggen, of course I am using a fond memory." he hissed, 
"Yes you are using a memory but it isn't good enough, you need to have been truly happy, you need to embody that happiness and let it fill you up inside," I explained, searching his unreadable blue eyes as he contemplated me silently, he slouched onto the arm of the leather chair, resting his hand in his pocket, his hair falling into his face. 
"What if you have more unhappy memories than happy," He muttered with a bitter laugh,
I moved closer towards him, "It's not about the  amount you have, you only need one as long as its strong." I breathed, "What memory have you been using?" I asked, 
There was a pause, "When I first came to Hogwarts," he replied, 
"That's good but its not happy enough, you would have been excited, nervous, proud perhaps. You need a memory where you just felt purely happy," I was looking towards my sleepy lion, thinking about my memory fondly, 
"And what is it you use?" Tom asked quietly, I had not expected him to take an interest. Ipaused for a moment as I collected myself,
"My Mother, we are playing together, just playing." I smiled, a small tear coming to my eyes.
For a moment there was silence between us,
"What happened to her?" Tom asked, bringing his eyes up to reach mine. I sighed as the memory forced its way into the forefront of my mind, 
"She... she was murdered," I replied bringing my eyes to meet his, our eyes locked. "My Father makes a lot of enemies in his line of work," I continued, realising the resentment in my own voice that I had not even realised I held. 
"How old was you?" Tom asked, he had still not broken eye contact with me and yet I did not feel uncomfortable, he was not trying to reach into my mind like he normally was.
"I was five," I replied, "I didn't see it happen though, I was asleep up in my bedroom at the time, completely oblivious. My Father did take me to see her though... it was strange she didn't look like my Mother anymore just an empty cold shell. My Father has never been the same, I didn't just lose my Mother that day, I lost everything." I found that I couldn't stop as I poured out my heart, words that I had never spoken out loud before. Tom didn't say a word, he just looked at me. 
"You have a memory such as that and that one simple memory is enough?" He eventually asked,
"Yes. The good always out ways the bad, there is no use in holding onto bitterness," I replied, 
"You don't understand," Tom spat, becoming angry again as he stared towards a spot on the back wall. 
"Then make me understand," I replied, he looked at me for a moment I could see the battle raging behind his eyes, 
"My past will never leave me," he hissed, "I can never escape it, it never goes away." 
"No, you're right it never will. You will always have those memories, its part of who you are." I replied, "but so are the positive memories. Do not search for the momentous moments, search for the insignificant," Silence stretched between us but it was not uncomfortable, it was suddenly broken by Tom's sigh as he stood up and raised his wand once more, he gave me a look that said that he was questioning the validity of what I had just told him, but he then refocused himself, staring ahead of his wand, he closed his eyes momentarily before he opened them and looked directly into my eyes, 
"Expecto Patronum," suddenly a majestic king cobra slid from the tip of Tom's wand and slithered around the floor before us. I beamed at it, Tom's eyes were wide as he looked between his newly formed patronus and me. 
"Should I say I told you so," I smirked,  
"No." he replied. I so desperately wanted to know what his memory had been but perhaps hidden deep inside there was a little part of me that already knew. 
We watched for a moment as the two of our happiest memories prowled and slithered around each other, occasionally touching noises curiously. 
Tom suddenly walked towards me and outstretched his hand towards my neck, I stopped breathing, frozen to the spot. I let out a breath as he pulled out the Lion pendent around my neck and turned it over in his hands.
"Your Christmas gift," he smirked,
"As grateful as I am Riddle you can't really gift something twice," I smirked, 
The pendant suddenly momentary turned blue under his touch before returning back to normal,
"This is now much more than a pendant Grisha," Tom breathed, "If you should ever need me I will know," he smirked letting the pendent drop back down to my chest, my heart was beating out of my chest as I reached up my hand and held the pendent, which felt oddly cold in my touch.