Avengers x reader imagines

Battle Scars

(Cutting warning! If this bothers you please don't read!)

Cutting was never what I thought I'd resort to. I thought I was so strong, I thought I had my feelings under control.

But once I fell in love with Tom Holland, and I ended up being hated so badly on social media, I, well, I couldn't. Cutting only seemed to help. And I couldn't let Tom know.

So when I ran into the bathroom with tears to smash the razor, I turned music up way too loud to drown out my tears and the sound of the metal. I picked up the blade and lifted my sleeve. I dragged the razor over my skin, opening old scars and creating new ones. It hurt so good.

I'd managed to keep them hidden so well, no one knew yet. No one on the SpiderMan Homecoming cast anyway.

I cried and let out my stupid feelings while I split my once flawless skin. I could hardly take all the hate I got on the media just for being in love.

Maybe it wasn't worth it.

But he was amazing, so certainly he'd be worth it, right?

But I couldn't ever tell him. If I told him I split my own skin and hurt my own self, he'd probably not want me anymore.

So when he called out my name over the music, I stuffed all evidence into a bag and hid it back under the sink, and slid on his sweater to cover the splits.

"Hey babe," I said with a faux grin. He waltzed into the room, looking rather sneaky. I eyed him suspiciously. "What are you up to?" I asked.

He smiled only wider before picking me up.

I squealed. "What are you doing?!" I asked, laughing.

"I'm going to kiss you," he said, dropping me on the bed and flopping over me.

I wasn't in the mood. "Tom, I'm busy!" I said in the same cheery voice.

He gripped my wrists, and as he went to pin them over my head, the sleeves slipped down. My heart dropped almost as fast as his expression.

I started crying again.

He sat up abruptly. "Wh-What are those?" He asked, gesturing to my wrists as I yanked the sleeves back down.

I covered my face, "It's nothing."

He shook his head. "No, Y/N, that's not nothing. I want you to talk to me."

I shook my head, not looking at him. "Y-you'd hate me."

I finally looked up to see an angry expression on my usually calm boyfriend's face.

That only made me feel worse, so I stood up. "You already hate me," I muttered.

He looked confused and angry now. "I never once said that, Y/N. I want you to tell me what's wrong!"

I shook my head again. "I don't want to burden you with my stupid depression and anxiety! I can't do that to another person!" I sobbed.

He looked very confused now. "You're not a burden! But if you don't want to tell me what's wrong, go ahead and leave.

I stared at him for a moment before doing exactly what he said, and left.

He thought he'd convince me to talk to him, but he watched my leave in shock.

I didn't know where to go. The only other friends I had were Z and Laura Harrier, and I picked Z.

I got to her door and knocked.

She answered, looking cheery and beautiful as always. "Hey babes! What's up?"

I sniffled. "Tom told me to leave, so I-I have something to tell you," I rolled up my sleeve, and her face fell.

"Oh babes, no!" She cried, pulling me inside. "Baby, you can't do that! Why?"

I plopped onto the couch. "I-I couldn't think of anything else to do! Everyone hates me cause I'm dating him!"

"You could do something else, you can find humor and talk to me and Tom! We're here for you, babes! Always! Do not do this again, do you understand?" She asked in a superior tone.

I nodded. "I should've told him." I began crying into his sweater again.

She sighed heavily and picked up her phone.

"Tom? Your girlfriend showed up at my door with scares and cuts and she's crying and she needs you, get your ass over here and take care of your girl."

I sobbed louder as she told him this.

"See?! Hear her? She needs you. You get down here, apologize and take her home. Listen to her, she's ready to talk now," she hung up the phone before dropping to her knees in front of me, taking my hands in hers. "Listen to me babes. No matter what people say, you are the best person I've ever met, and you're perfect for Tom, ignore all those idiots and enjoy being with him. Okay? And if you ever cut yourself again I will personally see to it you never own a razor or blade again. That means when you're shaving, I'll be over your shoulder or I'll do it for you!"

I let out a choked laugh at her threat.

The doorbell rang, and Z jumped up to get it.

Tom walked in, looking scared and guilty. "I'm so sorry, darling, I was an idiot and you don't deserve this. Please, please come home? Well snuggle and watch your favorite movie and you can tell me about it and I'll take care of you, okay princess?" He kneeled in front of me like Z had.

Z stood in the back nodding.

So I nodded.

Tom looked so relieved, kissing my forehead and picking me up. "Come on angel."

I smiled at Z as we passed. She patted my arm and kissed my forehead.

In the hallway Tom put me down. "I want you to promise me you'll never do this again, or I'm doing the shaving for you, and you wouldn't want that, would you?"

I smiled weakly. "Z said the same thing."

Tom nodded. "That's cause we care about you."

I nodded with him. "Okay baby, I promise."

He took my hand and led me back to our apartment.

I was loved, and those people on the media couldn't tell me otherwise.

You are all loved, never believe otherwise, okay babes? 💋💋❤️