The Apprentice (Girlxgirl)

Chapter Four

The next morning was different than my usual routine. I wasn't woken by Adam's "Good morning, beautiful," instead I was woken by his snoring. I looked at the clock to see it was 06:08. Way too early for me to be up.

My eyes took in my husbands face as the light shone through the curtains, and I was overwhelmed by sadness. How had we gotten to this point? We were so in love for so long. Adam and I had met when I was 17, we had spend 8 long years together. He was a year above me in college, and our 'perfect' relationship formed within weeks of first meeting. So many people were jealous of us, and look at us now.

Tears threatened my eyes as I thought about last night. What was wrong with me? Why didn't he want to have sex with me?

As Adam stirred, the tears trickled down my cheeks, and I tried to hold back a whimper, but I woke Adam.

His big brown eyes widened at the sight of me. I had sat up in bed, and was hugging my knees, shaking slightly from all the crying.

"Jamie, what happened?" He asked me, sitting up and putting his muscly arms around me, which only made me cry more. "Come on baby, talk to me, please."

"Adam, wh-why don't you want to h-have s-sex with me?" I managed between cries, and Adam backed away from me slightly. I was angered by that, and wiped the tears from my eyes, and stepped off the bed.

"Jamie, I- I don't..." He looked upset all of a sudden, but I wasn't gonna let him talk his way out of it again. This had gone on for too long and I needed an explanation.

"You don't what Adam?" I started to raise my voice, and found myself being very grateful that our neighbours houses were not connected to ours and they wouldn't be able to hear us. "You don't love me anymore? You don't find me attractive? Is there someone else?"

He ran his hands through his hair, and tried to avoid eye contact with me.

"I asked you a fucking question Adam! After all these years, you can't even look me in the eye and tell me what the fuck is going on?"

"Jay, I don't know what to say to you, I'm sorry." His voice was shaken, and his eyes looked desperate. I decided that shouting wasn't going to get me anywhere, so I sat back on the bed. He tried to take my hand but I moved it away from him.

"Adam, I can't go on like this." I said softly, and watched the pain cloud his eyes. "I can't stay in this same routine with you. Remember when we used to be fun? We've been married for two years. Two years, and we haven't had sex in months. I feel like we're in our eighties. I'm twenty five Adam, we should be at it like rabbits!"

"I'm so sorry baby," Adam said, holding back tears. "I can't explain it, I just, I don't want to have sex. I don't even know why, and I wish I could change it."

"But you must know why" I accused, feeling myself getting angry again, "Adam, I can't not have sex. I have needs you know. I mean, I even tried to watch porn with you, and you fell asleep! I can't just spend the rest of my life masturbating."

"Sex isn't everything, Jay" Adam started to raise his voice, and I couldn't understand why he was getting angry with me.

"I know it isn't, but it's a big part of a relationship. Honestly Adam, I don't know what happened to us, our life is so fucking boring!"

"Boring?!" he shouted.

"Yes, boring!" I yelled back, stepping off the bed again. "When was the last time we went away for the weekend? Or the last time you bought me flowers? I can't even remember the last real conversation we had! I just, I can't do this anymore."

My words fell quiet on the last sentence, as I realised what I was saying. I waited for more arguing, but instead heard Adam's alarm. He looked defeated as he walked into the ensuite to take a shower.

"Is that it?" I shouted through the door. "Are we really not gonna finish this fight?!"

"I need to go to work Jay, we'll talk later." He responded from in the shower.

"Fuck you, Adam!" I kicked the bathroom door, then sat on the floor crying from anger, and the pain from the bathroom door on my toe.

Pull yourself together, Jamie!

I took my advice, and wiped away my tears. I stood up and quickly got changed into some grey joggers, and a white strappy vest. I grabbed my phone and went downstairs, pulling on my white converse shoes.

I took my keys from the hook and got straight into my car, and started to drive away from our house.

A few minutes into the journey, my phone started to ring. I saw Adam's name on the console of my BMW, and ignored the call. I couldn't talk to him yet. I was so angry with him. Angry, and upset, and still fucking horny!

The only thing to do at that point, was to seek advice from the only person who knew me better than Adam. Ellie would surely know the right thing to say to me, she always did.

I felt slightly better as I pulled up to the apartment block, and heading to Ellie's door.