The Apprentice (Girlxgirl)

Chapter Twenty Three

I was the first one awake the next morning. I went down to the kitchen to get a drink, and decided to make pancakes for breakfast. I tried to push Alex from my thoughts so I could concentrate on cooking. Obviously, it didn't work, and I burned the first batch of pancakes.

I started mixing more pancakes, and I heard a door opening upstairs. My heart skipped a beat as I imagined Alex walking into the kitchen and kissing me passionately while the second batch of pancakes burned.

That was the first time I was ever disappointed to see Ellie.

"Good morning," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

"Hey," I smiled, "I'm making pancakes."

"Why?" she asked, and I laughed. I was never a very good cook. In fact, most of the time I was too lazy to cook anyway. But I had a spring in my step this morning. I was still consumed by my kiss with Alex.

"I just wanted to make pancakes. Jesus, what's with the third degree?" I joked, and she shrugged. I could tell she was too tired to care right now.

As I flipped the pancake, Alex walked into the kitchen. She was now wearing pyjama shorts, as well as her oversized t-shirt. I didn't hear her coming down the stairs so she took me by surprise. I gave her a shy smile, which she returned with a much less shy one, and I felt my face heat up again.

"Morning," she said, looking at Ellie, who gave her a small wave, while her eyes were almost closed. "Too much wine, Ellie?"

"There's no such thing as too much wine!" she argued, and Alex and I both laughed.

"Okay, who wants pancakes?" I asked, dishing two up from the pan. I didn't wait for an answer before I put a plate in front of each of them.

"These are actually not bad," Ellie said, and I took a bow.

"Personal growth," I said, grinning. I took a pancake for myself and sat beside Ellie at the table.

"Mmm, they're really good," Alex said, locking eyes with me.

As I looked into her eyes, I knew she was thinking about the kiss too. I wanted to get out of my chair, and kiss her again. Unfortunately, I knew I couldn't, because my best friend would probably have a heart attack. So I just kept looking at her while she ate her pancake, and she stared into my eyes, and made sure to lick her lips when she was finished. My insides melted.

"Thank you Jay, that was delicious," she said, and stood up, "I'm gonna go take a shower and get ready."

I watched her walk away, before I turned back to Ellie.

"Oh my god, you ate something I cooked!"

"What the fuck is going on with you and Alex?!" She whispered, but it sounded like she wanted to shout it.

"What?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

"Did you fuck her?"

"No, what are you talking about?" I asked, laughing slightly. She seemed genuinely upset about all of this.

"I'm talking about the way you're looking at each other, and how her eating a pancake was almost porn right then!" Ellie said, and I laughed.

"It's nothing Ellie. It's just... I kissed her last night," I said quietly, and I felt so excited, saying it out loud.

"What? Why?" Ellie looked so confused.

"I don't know. Because I wanted to," I answered truthfully.

"Oh my god, Jay. What's going on with you?" she asked, and I was upset by her reaction. I shouldn't have said anything.

"Nothing. I don't- I don't know what happened. I just wanted to kiss her. She's so nice, and she's beautiful, and she's-"

"She's a girl, Jamie!" Ellie interrupted. "You like guys. You've always liked guys. You're just rebounding from Adam, that's all."

"No, Ellie. I don't think that's it, I just-" I started, but was rudely cut off again.

"Just find a man tonight at the club. Believe me, you'll feel better, and you'll forget about all this silly business with Alex." Ellie advised, and I frowned. "I'm gonna go get ready. Just, please Jamie, don't do something you're gonna regret."

Ellie stood up and walked out of the kitchen. I sighed, and rested my chin on my hand. What if Ellie was right? What if I was just on the rebound, and Alex was just the first person to show me any attention? I didn't want to hurt Alex, so it wasn't fair for me to give her the wrong idea.

If it was just a rebound, then why was I so damn excited about it happening again? My mind was struggling with all of the questions, so I shut it off for a bit, and washed the dishes before going for a shower.

After drying my hair and getting dressed, I lay on my bed and started to think about Alex again. I didn't really know what I wanted, and it wasn't fair for me to mess Alex about while I worked it out. She just had a bad break up with Mona, and she had so much going on with her dad, I didn't want to complicate her life more.

I decided I was going to talk to her, and tell her I needed some time to work out what's going on in my head. Then, hopefully, we could still be friends. Maybe in the future we could be something more, but if Ellie was right, I didn't want to upset her.