Beast of the Moon(Editing)

THIRTY FOUR

"Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."
― Aristotle 

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BAM

I swung another hit at the punching bag, trying to take my anger out in one swing. The meeting was today and I wasn't planning on keeping control. Miah suggested I stay back but I refused, I was going to give those bloodsuckers hell for what they're doing. 

BAM!

The bag went flying and hit the wall with a strong hit, making the whole room shake. I didn't even give the already beaten wall or destroyed punching bag a second glance and walked over and picked up another and hooked it up and began beating the shit out of it.

BAM

It was around four or so in the morning, but I couldn't sleep. Around one I decided to go and try and read up on wolves to keep my mind off of things, but it only made it worse. Once I came across mates I learned that you have to 'Mark' your mate to hear their thoughts. Making me regret more.

BAM

But, if your mate excepts you when you first meet, you can feel their emotions when they are really high. So I felt my Conny's sadness, which only made me angrier. I knew I had to get it out, so I went to the training yard and found a small building which had punching bags.

BAM BAM

I was not only angry but in pain, I had to get it out. I was more animal than man at this point, I was bloodthirsty and ready to kill, but with the little humanity, I had left I forced my wolf to settle on a punching bag for now. I just pictured the man that took the love of my life away as the punching bag.

BAM

My knuckles were cut all over and flowing with blood that was already starting to drip on the floor with silent drops, but I didn't care. Worrying about pain is not going to help me in any way.

BAM BAM BAM

My wolf stayed silent, other than growling whenever my fist hit the bag. It satisfied me knowing that someday this bag would be that mans face, I smiled at the thought. I lost track of how long I had been here, minutes? Hours? I didn't think or care to count.

Once again the bag hit the wall from all the force and anger I was throwing at it. I didn't care if anyone heard me or were concerned, I had to get this anger out before we left. As much as I wanted to rip all the Vamps throats out, I knew I couldn't.

I considered staying here like I was advised to but I needed to be there for information for Nymeria, I need to know the rest of her plan and since this was the only way to do it, I'll have to bite my tongue and take it head-on.

After I set up the next bag and began beating the living shit out of it. I heard the door behind me open, I rolled my eyes and pretended I didn't hear anything, I wasn't in the mood to be kind today at all. "North...." Miah's voice called out into the dark room.

My wolf then responded with a threating growl, but knowing her I didn't even have to look to know she didn't flinch at all. I heard her take a step forward, "I know you're angry but this isn't-
" I cut her off again with a growl. I was starting to get annoyed with her trying to fix everything, including me.

"Please talk to me" I then again responded with another growl, like I said I was more Wolf than Human right now. "I know you're not North" she spoke in a calm and quiet tone, "North wouldn't just growl to try and get people to go away" she scolded. Then a voice I wasn't familiar with spoke thought my lips.

"They took Mate" the dark voice spoke, not taking his eyes off the bag yet not touching it either, the voice was my wolf. I guess I wasn't used to his calmer voice. "I know....um...has North given you a name yet?". I shook my head or rather he did.

I could feel him judging me inside my head so I responded, "Hey! I didn't know" I snapped. He rolled his eyes and I heard Miah lightly chuckle, "Well I gave North his name, why not give you yours" she then paused then spoke again after a few minutes, "Rhys, that will be your name" my wolf hummed in agreement.

I then felt a hand on my shoulder, "Can I have North back now?" she asked in a calm voice. He grumbled in response. I could only picture her glare. "Fine, I know you both can hear me-" she said stepping back.

"I didn't want to tell you this but I think it's time-" she started, "I had a mate at one point, his name was Ajax and I loved him more than anything. A year ago, he was taken from me by the Vamps because he was also a Lycan, I haven't seen him since" she spoke her story fast, I knew to tell me this was painful.

"I cried. I raged. I broke things. I hurt people just to numb the pain, but that didn't do a damn thing, no matter what the pain wouldn't go away. And I had to learn the hard way that pain is the only way we learn. It's so hard to forget the pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace-"

She paused to take a deep breath to stop the tears, "People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry"

I then felt my own tears start to fall as I heard her speak in sadness, "You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you, they Are you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting it destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain."

"But you can't shut it off, no matter what you try to do to forget won't work, because those emotions will forever be a part of you, always. It's like a virus, it's not gonna go away just because you it to" She said with anger in her voice.  

I then started to cry out, I then felt arms around me, and a warm hand start to rub my back, "Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart North. Let it out sweetie, all that anger and pain, let it out Shush, just let it out" the last words she said stuck with me.

"The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again." 

That gave me more hope that 

I would see and hold Constance again.