River ▷ Meteor Garden

His True Feelings

After thinking hard on what Daoming Si had to say about me I decided to ignore his stinging words and to act like nothing happened.

So I right now was hanging out with Shunping and Shancai watching as they ate corn. I tried to buy some myself but I ended up feeling down about what Si said about me.

It hurt me more than I thought it would.

So instead of eating corn I rather felt the need to just crawl into bed and just pour my emotions out into romantic fantasy movies.

"Kiara are you okay?"Shunping questioned snapping me out of my thoughts.

I blinked several times staring at them before looking down nodding,"Yeah..I'm fine. Jut tired you know?"

Shancai nodded understanding.

Shunping pointed at me gesturing to his corn,"Want another bite? Now don't say no. Cause see it's so good it's possibly the best corn ever but you won't know cause you won't let yourself have a bite of mine"

I playfully rolled my eyes while smiling,"Well when you say it like that I guess I want to try some"

He put the corn to my mouth letting me have a bite. I bit into it but suddenly he moved it away causing some of the corn pieces to fall from my lips.

I gasped licking my lips laughing,"Hey I only had a small bite!"

Shancai laughed watching as I tried to steal his corn but t lead to the corn falling over the railing. I widened my eyes,"Shit Shunping I'm sorry. Here let's go back. I'll buy you another corn."

Shunping grabbed me by the arm stopping me,"It's Fine Kiara. At least you got to taste the delicious corn."

I smiled shaking my head.

Shunping is nice..it's good to be around someone else that I didn't know. I guess my fate with meeting new people isn't that cursed.

"Aish your so cute Shunping. Your like a little brother to me" I cooed about to pinch his cheeks but he stopped me pushing me away.

"Hey!" I laughed as he put his arms over my shoulders. Shancai too joined our side as he ruffled her hair,"Hey Kiara If I'm like a brother then I'll protect you as family. You won't have to run away from Daoming Si like earlier"

I rolled my eyes,"Yeah I think as a sibling you'd make fun instead"

The three of us chuckled. I looked up with my smile dropping. Si stood there burning his eyes at Shunping.

I took Shunpings arm off of me and turned to them,"I just realized I have to go. I'll talk to you guys later."

I was about to turn around, walk away but Si came to us fast that he grabbed my upper arm and turned me to him.

"Whose this?"

I struggled in his grip,"None of your business. Leave me alone Si"

Si looked at Shunping glaring,"Your the one who called me retard didn't you?"

Wait what?

"I was just standing up for my—-

"If that line ends with a girlfriend—-"

"Which it won't and it shouldn't matter to you" I snapped pushing Si off of me.

"Kiara why are you flirting with a pathetic guy?"

I groaned,"again with these questions? Why do you care who I flirt with. I mean earlier when you were talking Ximen and Mei Zhou you made it pretty clear you didn't like me."

Shunping smirked,"Why, are you jealous? Do you feel uneasy everytime Kiara is out of your sight? You lash out when things don't go your way. Are you still sulking like a child that can't live without Kiara? It's a shame you don't know what Kiara likes. She enjoys trying new things, having fun, anything that makes her smile like a child again. More than being with you. I bet she's always sad, and possibly crying to the worst for what you do to her"

Si grabbed Shunpings collar pulling him closer to his face,"Say it again."

Shancai panicked trying to pull the two away from each other while I stood there collecting everything that I just heard.

Was that really true? Was it that easy to read that everytime I was with Si I felt sad? Depressed? That I desperately wanted new things to make me smile again?

"Kiara you need to tell Si to stop. Or else he'll keep pestering you" Shunping glared.

I shook my head, I went to grab Si but out of anger he slammed Shunping to the railing. I jumped nervous as he gripped Shunpings neck.

"One more word—!"

"Si stop, that's enough" I begged pushing them apart with the help of Shancai.

I stood in the middle blocking Si away from Shunping.

My breathing was hard. My throat began to form a lump. It felt hard to breathe. It was like I was arguing with a child who I adored but could do nothing because nothing could go through his ears.

"Daoming Si I cant keep doing this with you. Everytime you lash out I feel suffocated. I—I cant breathe. Please just let me go. This thing that we have isn't good. I don't want this connection. I—I'm done okay?" My voice cracked towards the end.

"I just can't give the love you want from me. I care about you okay" I assured putting my hands to his cheeks. He put his hand over mine as I bit my lip feeling the venom of the words I was about to say,"But I'm not yours to have. You deserve someone better than someone who is fucked up and has a temper of a bull" I laughed towards the end,"You need someone who turns you into a better person. Someone who you wish can see each and every morning and never have to fight or scream over anything."

I hesitantly took my hands off his cheeks feeling Shancai wrap her arms around my shoulders with Shunping glaring at Si.

"Come on guys let's go" I breathed out.

I looked straight on ahead not daring to look back. It was hard to say this goodbye. But it was for the better. This love sided thing that was going on was hard.

"Huang Kiara, I like you!" Si yelled out. I stopped in my tracks turning my head back a little.

"It's true that I do. I don't know why. Even I'm surprised by how much I like you. Everyday your the one I wish to see even when I wake up in my bed. No matter where I go, I always just see you.."

"Damn, you're annoying! Just like a buzzing fly"Shunping complained.

I glared at Shunping giving him the look to shut up or I'd make him.

I turned to Si fully as he continued on,"Kiara, I know I'm annoying. I know I may seem too childish for someone like you. If you want to run away I'll chase after you. If you run to Mars, I'll go there too"

Si your impossible..I frowned wanting to reply back but Shunping suddenly grabbed my arm giving Si another death glare,"Come on let's go, he's crazy."

Shancai dragged me with her as we walked down the the bridge but my eyes couldn't leave Daoming Si's.

If only he could read my emotions. That I too would chase after him even if he went to the stars.