Veronica lodge.
(Betty claus ) Christmas pt1
43
I sat on Betty's bed eating a banana as Betty was getting ready in her bathroom. "Are you ready kids?" Betty says from her bathroom "aye aye captain " I says finishing my banana. Betty jumps out of the bathroom in a full Santa claus. She had stuffed pillows into the shirt to make her look fat she even had a beard and hot.
"Okay, I saw your mom shaving her vagina one time here, this is the most disturbing things so far. " I say. True beans though her mom was getting all up in the mon pubes.
"I'm Betty claus. " Betty says showing off her outfit. "I even wrote a song. " betty says and I snort. "I've got to here that. " I say laughing
"Alrigh alright here It goes
Crashing in dem hoes
It's a fuck one hoe day
Through the folds I go
Laughing all the way.
Bells on the nipple rings
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to ride and sing
On your bitch tonight." Betty sings.
I start to clap. "I need that on spotify. " Betty nods. "Why thankyou, I wrote that taking a shit. " she says
"Okay so what's with the costume?" I ask and Betty smirks. "Since I'm such a good person I'm going to go give to the homeless kids, "
"You mean orphans." I correct. "Yeah the homeless kids. Look I even went shopping, " she says pulling out a sack. "What kind of presents. " Betty throws her hand in the sack. "Well I got a meat stick, " she pulls out a foot long pepperoni stick. "It could be used as a weapon, snack, or dildo but not at the same time," I shake my head as she pulls out something else.
"Tampons. " she says "Betty through opened already. " I state at the opened package.
"I was on my period when I bought them. " Betty shrugs. She reaches back into the sack this time pulling out a pack of gum and a pack of batteries. "Tear off the edge of the gum wrapper twist it once put that bad bitch on a battery and bam you got a lighter. " Betty says.
"Theres one more. " Betty says grabbing the last thing. She pulls out cat food and salt. "One time my mom left me home alone with polly and we got hungry you hear this shit up and throw some salt on it it taste just like canned chili. " Betty says and I nod.
"Let's go give to the poor. "
"I dont want you two ever! Ever again to come back to this orphanage! YOU WORTHLESS TEENSAGERS!!" The lady screams throwing Betty's sack of gifts back at her. "Look if it's because I gave the kid a edible starburst ." Betty says throwing up her hands.
"Your just lucky I didn't teach them how to make a shiv out of a tooth brush. " I say crossing my arms.
"Go to hell?!!" She slams the door and me and Betty look at eachother. "Wanna share a meat stick?" Betty says and I nod. "Can we light the tampons on fire with the lighters too?" I ask Betty smirks before nodding
"Betty claus has got you covered."
Idk what this is but it's the starts of my Christmas special?!?
Thoughts on this chapter?
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