The Opposite Of Good

[26] With me

~flashback~

[2 years ago, 15 years old Amara]

..

"Uncle, I'll be going to my friend's place today." I addressed as I finished the cereal that I was eating.

Today marked four months since the death of my parents. It still hurts, the pain is still evident. My heart bleeds every time I think about them. I've been told the pain would go away as time passes but I was still feeling melancholic inside, my heart was still in pain, pain that will become bigger than me to handle. My mind was clouded with memories and that was all I had.

"Alright, I also have a few things to take care of today." My uncle, Ben, clarified as he placed both our bowls in the kitchen sink. He was formally dressed because there was a meeting he mentioned that he would be attending.

"Okay, I'll see you later." I got up from the stool and I was about to walk out when Ben called my name.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"I can drive you there if you want, I'll be able heading in the same direction." You might think I jumped at the offer, but I didn't. I just wanted to be by myself for a while.

I shook my head,"thanks but I think I'll just take a walk."

He nodded, I could see that there was something that he wanted to say but debated against it instead. The look that he gave me, it was like he pitied me. I hated pity. Everybody goes through the most difficult time at some point in their lives, so why pity anyone? Everybody feels pain at some point.

I walked out feeling like the walls of the kitchen were starting to seem like they were closing up on me, the air suffocating me.

I pulled the hoodie over my head once I was on the street, not feeling like being seen. The truth was that I wanted to hide my face from people because everyone would then see the pain, heart break, tragedical loss and loneliness all summed up in my lifeless eyes. 

The hair that was out of the hoodie was blowing in the direction of the wind. I plucked in my earphones and murmured the lyrics of Can you feel my heart by Bring Me The Horizon.

A few minutes later, I stopped in front of Kate's front door. I put back my earphones in my pocket and took my hoodie off before knocking.

Kate's mother opened the door and greeted me with a warm smile before inviting me in.

"Morning dear." She said once I was inside and she closed the door behind us.

"Morning Mrs Rowley, is Kate here?" I asked, my voice somewhat hoarse.

"Oh honey, I have told you a thousand times already to call me Agnes." She said, keeping a smile on her face.

"Oh..I..sorry Agnes"

She laughed a little before offering me a seat.

"Unfortunately my dear, Kate is not home at the moment. She went out with her dad to buy a few things at the mall but you can wait for her and while you do so, would you like something to eat or drink?"

I shook my head, feeling like I didn't have the power to digest anything "no I'll be fine, thanks."

She sat down on the couch opposite to where I was sitting.

"So...how are you feeling recently my dear? You know after..."

I felt as if I've been hit my a truck, like my soul was on blazing fire.