The Opposite Of Good

[60] Lost

Sometimes decisions are taken based on acting on impulse. Sometimes you really think hard about something before you decide on it. Sometimes you don't have a choice...and sometimes you decide because you're just curious.

When I agreed to talk to Bianca, deep down I felt guilty for letting Amara get away from me like that. She was hurt because I chose to hear Bianca out...I failed to look at this from her perspective. She must be thinking that I don't care about her but all I wanted to do was to get closure for all the things that happened in the past so that I can be able to fully move on. I don't have any sort of feelings for Bianca, that part has faded with time. All that was left were questions in my mind that remained unanswered. Now that she was here...

"Don't fucking call me that. You lost the right to call me that the day you decided to cheat on me." I spat when I heard her call me 'baby'. If this was two years ago, I'd have no problem with it. But she made sure to tarnish the relationship we once had. I don't even care about that now because I'm really happily in love with Amara.

"Can we at least go to my place? I'll be more comfortable speaking there than here."

I gave her an incredulous look.

"Are you serious? Do you actually think that I'll be going back with you to your place?" I replied rudely and she sighed.

She nodded. "Okay, I understand. But can we please go to a more private place?"

I wanted to say that she can just say whatever the shit she wanted to say here but thought about how people are occasionally passing here. I wouldn't want anybody to overhear this conversation.

I nodded and we went to her car as she drove out. The drive was silent and to be honest, all I could think of was my girlfriend, how she must be feeling right now. I hated that I was the reason she was feeling that way.

Bianca stopped the car and I noticed that she has brought us to some 24 hours open diner. I left the car immidiately and we went to sit on a table in a corner. A waitress asked what we would like to have but I didn't feel like anything. Bianca ordered some milkshake.

"Justin I actually want to start by saying sorry. I'm so sorry about everything, I didn't mean to cheat on you. I was confused at the time-"

"Did you ever think that I wasn't enough?" I asked, cutting off her meaningless words because she was just wasting time.

"No, you were everything I ever wanted."

"So then why did you do it!?" My voice went higher than I would've liked and saw her flinch a little.

"I said I'm sorry. I really am. These past two years, all I've been feeling was guilt. I wanted to come and apologise to you because you didn't deserve the fact that I cheated on you."

I was silent for a while as the waitress brought the milkshake and then left.

"Who was sit with?" I asked, my voice emotionless the entire time. Either that or extremely angry.

She gulped "It was... someone from the same class as I was."

"You have to be fucking kidding me." My voice was distressed and I sucked in a breath and took my head in my hands before facing her again. I could feel my emotionless façade slowly crumble in front of me. It was like I was feeling the fresh pain of heartbreak again. The feeling of when you deeply love someone and think they are feeling the same way just to find out that they were going behind your back. And now I think of how many times I've been happy so see her and kiss her when she was probably coming back from fucking another boy.

The pain still stung now that I thought about it again.

"Why did you come back?" I questioned and she drank the milkshake before replying.

"I owed you an apology. I was feeling guilty and I just wanted to come back and hopefully fix things."

I scoffed "You do know that that's never gonna happen right?" I was now in love with a person a million times better than Bianca could ever be. She was nothing compared to Amara.

"But actually Justin... there's really something I want to tell you." She started and I didn't say anything. Due to my silence, she continued.

"After...the me falling off the window incident... Well we've actually been hiding something from you."

I tended as she spoke. What did they hide from me? Can this night be full of anymore surprises? "Justin... I really don't know how to say this but...We have a daughter. She's turning two in three months."

My surroundings promptly blurred. What Did she just say? That can't be possible!?

"What? How's that fucking possible?" I verbalized my thoughts as I looked at her was if she was crazy.

"Justin...I didn't actually lose the baby. The baby had somehow survived during the fall and that's why I went overseas."

I stood up abruptly, the chair falling behind me. "No! You went overseas because something was wrong with your head from the fall. And that's probably why you're telling me all this crap now because something's actually wrong with your head!"

A few people looked at us and I was feeling so agitated so I walked out the diner but a voice stopped me. "Her name is Althea."

My blood rushed, I don't know what caused it but I had goosebumps. It was like everything was coming at me way too fast for me to take. Was she telling the truth? How was the baby mine, she cheated on me.

Bianca stood in front of me before I knew it. I pulled her by her arm outside and glared at her.

"Don't tell me lies Bianca! You cheated on me so how could the baby be mine!? You were the one who said the baby wasn't mine!"

"I did cheat...but the baby is yours Justin. She's yours...she looks just like you."

***

[Amara's P.O.V]

The feeling of loving someone is so overwhelming that it influences your choices in almost everything that you do. You can't run away from it because you can't control love. However, when the same love that kept you happy ends up hurting you...

I've been crying for the entire cab ride until I reached home. When I came inside, for some reason, more tears fell down my face.

I was feeling sick that Justin was currently with Bianca. Like it just made me feel so angry and hurt.

I know that I can trust Justin...if it was just any other girl, I wouldn't worry about him cheating on me. But this wasn't just any other girl, it was BIANCA. The girl that Justin was once IN LOVE WITH. His first love. How can I not feel my relationship getting threatened by this?

I went upstairs and was about to get into my room but because of a great need to feel Justin close to me, I decided to sleep in his room instead. I just wanted to have everything that reminds me of him surrounding me. I wanted to persuade myself that he wouldn't cheat on me even if he was all alone with the person that was once the love of his life. I wanted to cry myself to sleep in his sheets because I don't know what Bianca plans to do tonight. The most scary thought was not knowing if Justin will stand up for our relationship tonight or let himself get lost in his past.

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AN:

Hey guys! I reached 3,000 reads, it's insane!!!! This is purely AMAZING, thank you so fucking much!!!

-Jass

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