The Opposite Of Good

[83] Our love was ill-fated by destiny

(Song of the chapter : m83 - Wait)

So it looks like days can pass like hours now.

"Please get off from there son. You have been on that rooftop for far too long now." I hear the same womanly voice I have been hearing for the past three days.

I didn't move from my mother's rooftop for so long now. There was a point where Levi came up to give me food because I wouldn't move, I wouldn't go anywhere. I didn't reply to anyone that spoke to me. I couldn't find it in me to say something, except letting out pained screams each night.

"You have to get down here Justin. You have to prepare for her funeral."

What was the point of a funeral anyway? A funeral is like an event attended by already broken souls to hurt themselves even more.

"If you don't get down now, your father and brother are ready to come up there and get you. I can't leave you like that Justin, you have to go to the funeral before you regret it. I know it's hard accepting everything but do it for her." I hear her voice constantly breaking as she speaks.

A few minutes later, I sigh and get off the rooftop that has been my only home for the past three days back to the ground with everyone else.

Mom throws her hands around me and I lean against the wall, feeling completely disoriented.

"Your eyes are so red" She says, inspecting my face and I look away even though my face is between her palms.

"He finally got off the rooftop?" Nick comes out of the house, followed by dad.

"But he won't say anything still." All of them are already dressed up for the funeral, I notice.

"He still needs time mom. Let him be for now." Nick replies, standing next to his mother.

They forced me in some tux that I refused to wear all pieces of. I didn't already want to go to this funeral, I had already made peace with the fact that she's dead.

The car soon stops in front of a church and we exit, me being the last.

I almost get sick when we enter the church and I see a coffin...some petty flowers, along with Amara's photo placed on top of it.

People begin taking their seats and being this close to her coffin feels like the time I found her on the floor in a pool of blood back at the apartment.

I'm seated between Nick and Levi, Amara's two friends sit at the end. Their parents are here too, and so is the factor of the problem, Reece and his mother.

But I'm done pointing any accusing fingers to anyone but myself. I'm the factor of the problem. I'm the cause of her death.

"It's really sad that she passed away. Why is it like every family member I try to connect with dies?" I overhear Reece behind me say to whoever.

Soon enough, a pastor reads some bible verses before calling people to come up and say their eulogies.

My stomach turns as each person goes. Hearing each person talk about her, the girl who was perfect for me but never the other way around.

Everyone says they miss her, and that they love her, but it can never be as deep as my love for her, or the hollowness in my chest that longs for her.

My name is called, I breath in and out. When I stand up, I almost fall due to the sudden dizziness. I go up and stand next to her coffin. I look at her picture that I've been avoiding to look at the entire time, and a fresh set of tears escape my aching eyes.