The Opposite Of Good

[59] Past

[Justin's P.O.V]

My past is something in my life that I have let to be gone by in time and claim it to not exist.

I've left my woes and more importantly, the memories of my contemptible past behind me, forbidding them from ever resurfacing. Never did I once think that my determination to start a new life, with the girl that I love, would result in my past rising up again. Never did I once think that I'd see the reason that contributed more to the type of life I lived ever in front of me again.

My biggest confusion was how she found me. I haven't seen her in about two years now! Why has she now come back to my life?

My body went rigid as I looked at her, suddenly a rush of everything that happened two years ago clouding my mind, almost like I was back there again. Almost like I was hearing her loud, ear splitting scream again. Memories of that night visited my peaceful mind again, making me start to feel my world shatter down around me, piece by piece.

"What the fuck are you doing here!?" I heard Amara's voice question in an accusatory tone.

I couldn't talk, I couldn't bring myself the energy to utter words, I was totally speechless. All I could think of was... was... how I used to be in love with her.

I needed to clear my mind, eager to remove these thoughts from my mind. Before I realized it, I was running out the house, feeling my body in need of cold, fresh air. It felt like I wasn't breathing in there, my lungs tightening as I saw her face again.

The face I once wanted to see everyday of my life to the face I never wished to see again.

I leaned against my car, taking deep breaths as I ran a hand through my hair.

She had to come back didn't she? I was so happy with Amara but she had to come back to ruin everything. Why has she decided to just...

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!?

Just as I was about to start a new life, free from everything that I once was. Just as I was about to finally forget about everything else and work on getting new and meaningful memories with the girl I love so much...

why did my ex-girlfriend have to show up again?

I felt a hand on my arm, the feeling calming me down immidiately because I knew who it was.

But how was I going to tell her?

"Justin?" She called my name with her soft voice. I sighed before turning around to face her.

She looked so worried and I found myself appreciating the loving concern.

"Baby?" I replied.

"What's wrong? Why did you run outside? Do you perhaps wanna go home? We can call a cab if you don't wanna sleep here for tonight."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't deserve her, she was too good for me. She didn't deserve a complicated person with a complicated past like me. I've never once doubted my love for her but in this moment, I feel as though she deserves so much better. Someone to love her without any barriers. There's no doubt she's going to always have my heart with her, but I'm not sure if I can keep hers without hurting it.

"Baby tell me what's going on. Why did you run outside like that?"

I didn't want to tell her, I didn't want her to go through all of this, she doesn't deserve to be hurt and sad. She deserves to be happy and that's all I've ever wanted for her. That's ALL I've ever wished for her. So how can I be the one to go against that?