The Opposite Of Good

[75] Un-lost Cause

[Amara's P.O.V]

"You should probably go home now and get some sleep, you are drunk as fuck." I tell Justin playfully and he returns a lazy smile my way. I know he's not as drunk as he was earlier when he walked in, he looks much better now than he did then despite the tiredness evident in his actions.

Considering the late hour, I'm surprised I didn't pass out due to the incredibly large amount of medication I'm constantly being fed here but waiting for Justin most of the night pretty much kept me awake.

Everyone left not so long ago and I'm left with Justin.

I still can't believe that I suffered a panic attack. I never experienced one before...I think. I can't be sure because maybe I unknowingly experienced one during my time with Ben. I really shouldn't be thinking about my uncle right now, it will lead to me going over all the things that happened because of him and to him... I don't want to think about all of that now.

"I hate being away from you, not after tonight." He admits. I know that Justin fears that something might happen again while he's not here, I need to assure him that I will be okay.

I grab his hand in mine "Nothing will happen. You have to go." He has to take care of himself, I need him to. And besides, the last thing I need is a stinking boyfriend once I'm out of here. I softly laugh to myself at the thought.

Justin raises his head to look at me, his slightly red eyes quizzical "Why is it like you're kicking me out?"

"What? No I'm not. I'm just saying that you need to shower, eat and get some sleep. It shouldn't be this hard to convince you to go home, you know." I sigh.

"Why shouldn't it?"

"Because it's Sunday today and I'm being discharged tomorrow, we'll have more time to ourselves than we do here." I answer his quick question and he smiles sweetly as the thought visits his head, and hopefully stays there.

"Okay fine I'll fuck off now." He gets up from the chair and plants a kiss on my cheek.

Justin has not kissed me on the lips all night and I really can't stand it so when he tries to pull away, I quickly slide my arm to the back of his neck and I pull him closer to me.

I don't give him a chance to react and press my lips against his, immidiately tasting the strong alcohol along with a faint taste of orange. How much did he have to drink?

After a few more seconds, Justin pulls away and stands up completely after placing one last kiss on my forehead. His hand rake over his messy hair before he shoves it in the pocket of the dark jeans that really look so tight on him.

"I'll see you later, okay? In the afternoon because I've been dodging going to my mom's house lately and she's been pestering me about it."

I'm caught off-guard at the unexpected mention of Justin's mom...his adoptive mom. It's unusual hearing him talk about his adoptive parents because he never  mentions them at all...or at least not with me.

"Your mom...as in like Nick's mom right?" I don't know why I asked that because I already know the answer to it. Justin told me long ago about him and Nick sharing parents so I don't know why I pushed that question out really.

"Uhm yeah." He answers shortly after and I can't help but notice that something seems off with him now and he's avoiding my eyes. I feel guilt settling in me, knowing that I've caused this sudden change of mood in him. I shouldn't have asked that question. He's getting distant now and there's nothing I hate more than seeing it happen. I now take it that the topic about his adoptive parents or the fact that he's adopted is a touchy subject to him. Is this because he genuinely misses his...biological mother?