The Opposite Of Good

[74] Regret

I walk as slowly as I can to the hospital. The walk is not long but I'm at least trying to convince myself that it's long so that I can pretty much sober up while I'm at it. Doesn't happen.

I'm through the entrance and I immidiately make my way to the elevator, ignoring the receptionist I was supposed to go through.

My stomach feels like it's in knots once the elevator stops and the doors slide open in front of me.

As I walk further towards my girlfriend's ward...no, not her ward, the ward she's temporarily put in and would leave it come Monday.

As I walk closer, I see that everyone is still here from the transparent parts on the door. What the fuck?

I slide my phone from my pocket and check the time. It's ten minutes past midnight now, what the hell are they still here?

I push the doors open and everyone's attention turns to me. Leah and Levi are seated together on the chair, Kate on the edge of Amara's bed and Nick on the floor leaning against the wall.

Before I can do anything or say anything, Kate stands up, walks over to me and I see her hand flying up to slap me. If I wasn't this drunk, I would have stopped her.

"What the hell?" I exclaim, glaring at her when Leah and Nick walk over to us. I look behind them to Amara who's lying on the bed, her eyes fixed on her hands like there's nothing going on around here.

I ignore Kate's obnoxious voice and look to Levi who's still in his chair. He looks away once we make eye contact.

What the fuck is happening here?

"...so you should basically just go!" I hear the last part of Kate's sentence when my eyes rest on her red face again.

"Why would I do that?" I ask, my voice softer than I wanted it to be. First she fucking argued with me about the fucking party and then she slaps me.

I feel so overcrowded so I push my way past the three people in front of me and walk towards Amara's bed. Not her bed...the bed she's temporarily put in until Monday.

"What the fuck is actually going on here? What the hell did I miss?" My drunk mouth runs on its own once I'm away from Kate, Leah and Nick.

"If you weren't out wasting your money on drinking, you would've known." Kate as impudent as ever says and I feel the ability to hold my temper wearing thin.

"What's fucking wrong with you anyway?" I'm getting pissed as I turn to face her.

"Just because I went out to drink doesn't mean-"

I'm cut off by a simple mention of my name. I immidiately turn around and face her, her eyes are looking up at me but I can't tell what she's feeling right now...or what she's thinking about.

"Is everything alright? Are you okay?" I ask her, something tells that something happened and I fucked up by leaving.

She nods "Yeah I'm okay now."

Now?

"Now? What happened?" I ask, my heart beating fast against my chest. I go through possible scenarios in my head...none of which I'm hoping to be true.

"She had a fucking panic attack you loser." Air is sucked out of my body when I hear Kate yell from behind me. My eyes remain on Amara and I don't know what to fucking do... Why did she have a panic attack? Was it because of me?

My heart is aching, while I was out in a fucking pub, drinking to forget about her...she was having a panic attack and everyone else was here but me. I'm sure even Dr Ferguson was here but me.