The Opposite Of Good

[29] Realize

The meeting ended sooner than I expected. This meant that I had more time to warm up for a fight tonight. This time around, the opposing fighter is not from Peligroso but from another small as fuck gang. It should be a walk in the park for me.

I think as I hit the punching back once again with rage in my blood, absolutely nothing but anger controlling me.

"THIS IS MY FUCKING LIFE!" I don't know why I yelled but at this moment, I did not care.

Punch

I need to take control, I need to take control over my emotions.

Punch

I have to keep on reminding myself about the life that I'm living, I'm ruthless, I'm cold fucking blooded.

Punch

I can't fucking change that! My whole life I've been alone! My mother left me! I was fucking ALONE!

Punch

Punch

Punch

Abruptly, I felt a hard grip on my shoulder. I turned around, angry that I've been disrupted at this time.

"Justin" Levi said in a low voice but hard tone. My eyes shot daggers at him. How dare he disrupt me?

"What?" I asked annoyed as I shoved his hand off my shoulder. My voice was cold.

"You need to stop acting like this. Not only are you gonna drain your energy before the fight but you'll fuck yourself up more!" He raised his voice and I pushed him back. At this moment, I saw red and didn't want be to messed around with. Levi fell to the floor hard before he got up again.

"You continue like this you gonna end up losing that fight!" Levi shouted and I see that he was trying to maintain his physical anger.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP MAN!" I push him once more and I watch him hit the wall with his back. I turned back to the punching bag and without thinking, I raised my right leg and kicked it hard.

"I know you more than you know yourself Justin. And there's one thing you just have to understand, blaming yourself for the past won't help you in anyway but will destroy you more that you fucking think. Someone else can make you feel pain but it doesn't match to the pain that you have the ability to cause on yourself. It's time you fucking realize that you don't live in the past anymore. Man the fuck up Justin and face your present...and you know exactly who I'm fucking talking about!" Levi yelled angrily as he didn't wait for my response and shuts the door on his way out.

My mind felt like it was in a blur as I took in his words. I felt all anger leave my body and was replaced by sadness and confusion. I crouched down on the floor, breathing heavily as sweat glistened on my chest. I leaned against the wall and held my head in my hands. There was just one thing on my mind...

Is it possible that Levi realized it before I could?

My eyes widened as I looked up. I got up and left the gym room, racing towards boss' office. I got in without knocking and his eyes landed on me.

"Boss I...I can't fight tonight. Can you please put someone else in my place?" I ask as I stand in front of him.

"Why? What's the problem, why can't you fight tonight?" He asked and I swallowed.

"I need to-" before I could finish, boss placed a silver gun on the desk in front of me.

"You have to do gang work tonight. You either gonna fight or kill someone for me."

I sighed as I knew that I couldn't convince him to leave now. I took a turn for the door as I've made my decision.

"I'll fight." I said and left the office before he said anything else.

Either way, I am still the best fighter in this fucking gang.

***

[Amara's P.O.V]

I groan once again as I throw the remote control to the wall. Nick gasps and looks at me as if I was crazy.

"Stop looking at me like that." I roll my eyes and throw my legs on the low table in front of me.

"You're lucky it's not broken." He said while picking the remote up and checking it.

I decide to annoy him further as I pick up another thing close to me which was a packet of skittles and throw it in his direction.

Nick frowns and I can't help but laugh at his facial expression.

"Am you just need to-" he is cut off by a chocolate bar hitting his forehead. I laugh widely as he exhales in annoyance.

"Stop throwing things around, seriously." He places everything on the nearby single couch and walks towards me. I take time to study him, his blonde hair has grown longer since the last time I saw him. It was messy and some strands covered his forehead. He started laughing as well and he came to sit next to me. My eyes landed on the clock on the wall and I sighed.

"It's past eleven now, when is Justin gonna be back?" I ask and look at Nick next to me. He looks at me and places his hand on my hands as he looks at me in the eyes.

"I...I'm guessing you have questions, a lot of them." He speaks in a low tone and I nod. Of course I had a lot of questions. At this point I feel like I don't know the person I've been living with for this long.

"And as I've said before, Justin is the only person who can answer those questions."

I nod again as I inhale.

"I know. He promised to tell me everything once he feels ready to. I'm not gonna judge him for that because I know how hard it is to open up about stuff you hate talking about "

Nick let go as he nodded.

"It's good to know that someone cares about J...besides us of course." Nick said, with a small side smile.

"Us referring to?" I wanted to know if Justin only has Nick and Levi in his life or not.

"Myself, our parents and Levi." A breath is caught up in my chest as I hear his words.

"Just four people? That's all he has?"

"And the rest of my family of course." He adds and I nod.

"I know he promised to tell me but I just wish that he would do it sooner. Ugh can I get more complicated!? One moment I say I'm giving him time and the next I'm rushing him!" At this point, I was walking around the room stressed out. The low noise of the forgotten television show filling the background.

Nick stands and walks close to me. "You just need to be certain with yourself first. You know... Life is about certainty and... all that." He  and I gave him a weird look.

We share a moment of silence and we stare at each other before we both burst into laughter.

We laugh for long and I can't believe that not so long ago, I was a mess thinking of Justin.

"Okay fine I know I suck at this advice giving shit. It's really not for me." Nick confesses what he clearly doesn't need to say and I laugh more. He casually throws his hand around my shoulder as I think of how much of an idiot he is.

Okay he was just ridiculous.

I think we laughed and didn't hear when the front door opened. I froze when I saw Justin on the doorway of the living room.

Nick and I have stopped laughing as we looked at Justin, who just stood there, all bruised and staring at us before he glared at Nick beside me.

I felt Nick tense and he immediately let go of me. I frowned upon the situation.

Why was Justin shooting daggers at Nick?

******