The Opposite Of Good

[43] Plan

I was frozen, my heart was beating a mile a minute. My limbs, intestines and organs were all burning in spit fire but at the same time, I was frozen as ice. But why? This was all I EVER wanted, this was my dream, there was nothing that I wanted more than to be Justin's girlfriend. To hear him say those words, I've dreamt about it long enough that I still doubt if this is really happening or I'm still in one of my imaginary events.

A sight of him smiling at me with hopeful eyes totally reminded me that this was reality in its purest form. He was expecting an answer, what the hell, I do want to be his girlfriend!

A shiver ran down my spine as a thought came to mind. How could I possibly agree to be his girlfriend without his knowledge of the whole truth about me? Justin doesn't know everything yet. Yes I have told him about the physical abuse but I haven't told him about another part of the it...the sexual abuse. I dragged it on for long that it has become too late already. My hands began to shake as I slowly sat up and looked at Justin worriedly. His smile has somehow vanished and he now looked like he was preparing himself for rejection. He copied my actions and sat up as well, his eyes staring deep into mine. I swallowed, thinking of what I should do next.

"You don't have to say yes straight away I mean I would underst-" I placed my fingers on his lips to get him to stop talking.

I dropped my hand and looked at him "I would love to Justin. I would love to be your girlfriend." I breathed out and his smile was back.

What was I doing?

"Cakes what's wrong? I'm so excited that you agreed to be my girlfriend but why are you now crying?" he asked, his voice almost breaking at the sight of seeing my tears. Funny because I didn't even realize I was crying. I raised my hand to wipe away the tears. What if Justin starts thinking of me otherwise after I tell him? What if he sees me as a whore? I feel like one, I'm even disgusted at the mere thought of even talking about this whole thing. But what if he changes his mind and doesn't want me anymore? It's just so disgusting that my own uncle would do such a thing to me.

"Cakes tell me, what's going on?" He asked once again, coming closer to me and enveloped me in a hug. My head rested on his bare chest as one of his hands rubbed circles against my back in a soothing manner.

I closed my eyes "I'm afraid you're gonna hate me." There, I said it. My deepest fear.

I couldn't bring myself to anything, all I saw was flashbacks of everything, just as it happened. My screams that were muffled by his large hand. It was a nightmare and it felt like I was back in it. My heart was beating hard against my chest as I looked at Justin, his gaze to me was laced with confusion and hurt. My breathing became deeper as I stood up. I began walking away and I could hear my name being called behind me, but I ignored it and kept on walking. Justin quickly stepped next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. He slightly bent down and placed a chaste kiss on the side of my head.

"I can never hate you cakes."

***

[Anonymous P.O.V]

"Did you do everything I asked you to do?" His voice filled the dark motel room as soon as I walked in.

The room contained the smell of smoke and sweat laced with dust. It was sickening the shit out of me but I had to do what I had to do.

I closed the door -and locked it- behind me as I walked over to him, almost tripping on stuff that was on the floor.

"Yes. Our plan is going smoothly so far. We only have to wait a few days before we both get our revenge." His eyes started beaming at the word of 'revenge'.

"Yes. Oh sweet revenge."

"On another update, I found out that the UG is planning on attacking Peligroso gang this Friday... which is just four days to go."

He stood up from the bed as soon as he heard me. He walked over to the small window and looked out, folding his arms and tapping his chin.

"I heard that Peligroso has been going in hard and not giving UG a chance at all. They might want to be attacking this Friday in order to fight back and obtain the most respect, to prove that they're still the shit. You know how these stupid gang attacks are." He spoke before turning around to face me.

Suddenly a thought came to mind "Hey do you think that Amara knows that her low life bastard is in a gang? I don't think her stupid little heart can take that blow, she's a softie."

He laughed, his laughter vibrating throughout the motel room. "I don't even care about that. I care about sabotaging UG's plan."

My insides suddenly froze..."You want to warn Peligroso?" I asked and he smiled proudly.

"Of course." He replied, walking towards the bed and sitting down again.

"But that could get most of UG's members killed, including Justin." The words left my lips but I regretted it immediately as I took in his reaction. He stood up abruptly and walked towards me, his body tense confirming that he was angry.

"So you still care about him!?" He asked, more like yelled in my face, his tall body towering over mine. I now had my own share of anger, how could I potentially still care about Justin? Not after everything that's happened!

"That's an insult! You know pretty damn well that I'm disgusted at the fact that he's still existing!" I raised my voice just as loud.

His anger quickly vanished as he calmed down, my words probably making sense. "But stop acting like you're still in love with him. It's sickening and stupid."

"I know that very well, thank you very much! I was just saying that if he gets killed, we won't get to go ahead with our plan and we've worked so hard on it to just throw it all away."

"Okay fine I'll spare him life this time." He said and I felt so weird.

I felt somewhat relieved.

[End of P.O.V]

******