A multiverses of YOU and I

Chapter 5: The cattle call

Final Goodbyes

I've learnt something about myself. That it was not hard for me to say my final goodbyes. To the people most closest to me and the only ones who knew my secret. I'd dropped of Haley and Julie at their respective airports and it was easy. I'd waved at them until they disappeared behind the doors and strangely I never found myself moody and sad. Sad over the fact that I was dying. All I felt was pure happiness.

It had been almost a year now since I'd been admitted to the hospital. I had been taking my medications as usual. My medicine also had several other side effects like vomiting, diarrhea, muscle pain, headache, and rash. For three years I had been taking my medication without any hindrance. I'd experienced all the side effects from my medicine and I'd had gotten used to it for three years until now. My parents had told me that I would sometimes feel sick after taking my medicine which had to be taken orally by mouth. You just had to swallow it.

I'd gone to my grandparents place to spend my summer vacation at their farmhouse. My parent's didn't allow it at first but I'd begged them to allow me to go promising I'd take my medicines on time. They'd let me go on the condition that I would call them every now and then. My two best friends had gone on their respective vacations with their parents and they would send me loads and loads of pictures every now and then. Haley had asked me to join her on her vacation to the Hawaii beach. It was her family tradition to go every year to the Hawaii beach to celebrate her parents anniversary. Haley's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Mathieson were the kindest souls to exist on earth. They had got marrried at the Hawaii beach and it was their family tradition to go visit the Hawaii beach every summer vacation. I'd simply didn't want to come in between their beautiful family tradition. Haley had said that I wouldn't but I had other more things to do. Julie was going to Miami to meet her grandparents. She'd had invited me too. To go visit her rich grandparents and see their huge family estate at Miami but I'd also told her that I had more important things to do. And that was to be with my family. I'd told them both that I'd love to come and spend my summer vacation with both of them if I could. That I'd make myself into two me's and then go have fun with them. But just as much as they'd want to be with their family, I too had to be with mine. Especially since I had only a few months left in my hands. 

It was at the start of the month of June when I'd learned out about the severity of my cancer. It was just last year during my sophomore year at high school when I'd had a final checkup at the hospital. I didn't have to go to the hospital anymore since my cancer had disappeared completely. The doctors couldn't find out any sign of a dangerous cancerous cell that could cause damage in the future. But the positron-emission tomography and computed tomography(PET-CT) scans had showed no trace of what so ever cancer I had. Until now.

I spent my summer vacation, the month of June in pure agony, pain and suffering. I'd have fever, fatigue, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, bone pain and sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with night sweats. I'd feel extremely cold sometimes and extremely hot at other times. I'd started to lose my appetite and had lost a lot of weight. The doctors had suggested I take my medication even after the cancer was gone. I'd thought that the medicines side effects were starting to become a lot more severe than I'd expected. But when I found myself on the bathroom floor one early morning with a searing and throbbing pain at the back of my head, I knew my cancer was back. I had fainted in the bathroom and hit my head on the sink. And this time it was not going away.

Even after taking all those medications, the cancer seemed to come back again. I knew that I was in the blast crisis of my disease and it was only a matter of months. And I want the last months of my life not spent on fighting this disease but actually enjoying life. Life is short. Shorter for me now. I want to spend the remaining days just trying to get out most of what life had to offer and I knew I wouldn't be able to do it if I was always sick and weak. My health had drastically improved after I had started taking medication. Yet there were times I'd feel sick and weak because of the medicines side effects. So as of 13th June, I'd stopped taking my medication all together. I'd thrown them away.